accidentally in love

Feelings

2010-02-09T18:27:00.000-08:00

No idea what I am feeling. I tell myself stay home and yet I am still out in the end.

Nenek is not doing much better. Infact her condition seems to be unstable. Heard her cry out for Him to take her away, let her sufferings end. She is currently bed stricken. Diagnosed with mild Parkinsons and unable to walk normally as she has an extra small bone growing at the back. It is sticking out and hitting on a nerve at the back. She complains and complains and all we can do is watch and say we know. But what can we do? She is so weak and has no desire to help herself too. Once you give up, nothing people say or do can help somehow. And I feel so Helpless and Useless.

Ya Allah, what do we do but pray? How do we help her suffer less. Is it wrong to pray for the inevitable?

I only have 2 weeks left.

Raw Emotion

2009-11-24T16:20:00.000-08:00

I get so sad when i hear people talk about their partners so openly. it hurts just thinking about it. what the hell was i thinking?? how do i get out of it? its not gona happen. Argh!

Heat Wave

2009-11-12T14:27:00.000-08:00

Never have I experienced such a long heat wave anywhere in the world. If the temperature is too high, home is where i will be as there is the airconditioner. But here in Adelaide, we got NO aircon. Portable aircon costs 800 for the good ones and the bad ones are not gona work for the room I have. It is seriously ridiculously hot here in Adelaide. Another 39 degrees tomorrow. God help me.

Nineteen minutes.

2009-10-29T12:11:00.000-07:00

Currently reading a book entitled nineteen minutes by Jodi Picoult. Thanks to the little sis, who introduce me to this fine author. I just had to share this wonderful phrase written in this book of hers

"You could patch up whatever was broken, but if you were the one who had fixed it,

you'd always know in your heart where the fault lines lay."

It is so true..Think about it.

In about a months time, I will be on that plane travelling back to Singapore. I wish things can be different. I wish for just one thing and yet I know it can never happen. Or can it?

Peels of Layers

2009-10-22T10:53:00.000-07:00

As it slips away one by one, I feel myself slowly crumbling. Finally opening up to someone who would understand last night made me feel even more vulnerable then ever. I realise that this is not how it should be. It should be bliss and goes hand in hand. But it seems to be only jealousy on one side, it hurts. Maybe it is just me being paranoid but comforts always can work.

Ya Allah, help please..

Repeatedly

2009-10-15T21:33:00.000-07:00

In love so many times over & over again with the same person.

Still hurt at the end of the day.

Oh, what a life.

M.I.A.

2009-10-08T11:33:00.000-07:00

Realised been missing for a tad too long. Have not had much interest in my own life at the moment but of others. Friends got married, friends left to go back to hometown. Makes me wonder sometimes what I am still doing here. On the days, when I call home, I just feel the storng urge to be back there.

Younger bro just entered camp this morning. I wonder what he is going through now. 2 weeks, he will not be entering the gates of paradise we all call home. He will have those standard botak hair and will not be as fair skinned as he normally is. There were 3 of us and now only 1 left at home with the parents. Hahx.. What time do to us all.

Raya has been a blast this year. It was pretty mundane the previous years overseas. Yet this year is all about moving around the entire state. Pictures are all uploaded on FB and I am just so excited to go through it again next year. Ofcourse, I would rather celebrate it back home in Singapore but if time does not permit, what choice do I have right? I m guessing next year, I want my baju raya to be a bright colour! Omg.. I can't wait!

Oh crap!

2009-05-19T21:15:00.000-07:00

I don't even remember the last time I blogged. Seems eons ago. It's not like my life is boring, well actually pretty much. But seriously, NO! I just do not know how to put it in words and share it. But when I read the other's entries, I get all jiffed up and ready to write. And once I do get into my blogger page, I suddenly get stuck.Again.

2 weeks of the semster left before exam breaks and then Exam and then graduation. I get the feeling that I end my whole school on the 10th of july cause that is what seems to be the murmurs of the peers around me in lectures. After which, I plan to head to all the different australian states just for holidays. I am uber excited!!

I was watching some tv show yesternight and I realise I actually do wana go travel to america and visit especially 3 places; Hollywood, Las Vegas and LA. No idea why but this 3 is a must for when I am in America. I actually dream of meeting oBAMa. No reason just cause I think he actually looks hot. And President and HOT just doesn't correlate. SO to have one, is an opportunity.

I am already turning 22 like soon. So it is true, once you turn 21, life passes by like no body's freaking business.. I wonder what age I will die.

I am in Uni's computer lab and I see every one really concentrating on whatever they are doing. Most of which are assignments and I ask myself, what Am I doing? wasting time updating my blog. Oh that's right, cause I finish with my assignments. Aren't I a good student? Heh... RIIGhhT!!

Emotions

2009-04-08T14:39:00.000-07:00

Wish you get it.
Maybe one day, if you go through it, you will understand why I make a big fuss of it.
Only then will you understand.

People say experience makes you a beta person.
I say, it makes you expect the worse and brings out the worse in you.

Back home again.. Or away again?

2009-03-03T18:42:00.000-08:00

So in Adelaide all over again. 25th of February 2009 was when I left terminal 3, Changi Airport at approximately 2355. It was neither rain nor sunshine. The 2 families were there to send us off and the ever frequent sender, the Atan family. Not forgetting, Qhairul was there too. Red eyes after work and yet he still came. Thank you to all of you..

It practically rained the whole day today and I am freezing my 2 feets off. Cannot tahan already lah.. But I must admit, I am loving it. Gloomy weather. Kinda makes my day even though I am not feeling the same..

And yes semester just started. I really need to buck up. It is the last and I have got to study harder than b3fore, before I start wondering what isit do I want to do next. Yikes!! Help...

Missing you already..

Friday the 13th 2009

2009-02-13T11:11:00.000-08:00

Staring aimlessly at the computer just waiting for the minutes to pass by. Gona miss GASCA all over again. However, leaving this time is going to be so much easier than before. Made good friends over the month and had fun through out. Was asked to extend, and maybe I will.

Just 12 days more before I leave back to ADL. A part of me is excited and another part is unsure. Unsure if my presence this time back here in Singapore has made my family happy. Was I there for them or was I mostly distant, caught up in my own work. I promise that this last 12 days will be just about MY family.

Meet up with the friends has been exhausting. Straight after work. But admittingly, worth it. The time spent with them just reminiscing or talking crap has been a hell loads of fun! Also been getting gifts and treats from everyone and anyone. Im so touched. Thank You.

I still have yet to eat steam boat (16th of Feb), Burger King, shark's fin soup, Tang Tee Restaurant again!! and also visit the places I am surely gona miss here. Not forgetting, to see my lovely boyfriend; DANISH!!

Pictures have been uploaded only on Facebook. And then too lazy to upload it all over again in friendster. I swear friendster is pretty much seeing me MIA. I am so gona miss the late nights going out..

Simple Me.. Simply Amused

2009-02-10T15:43:00.000-08:00

It amazes me how the others can get me things so simply yet not some others. Maybe they just don't really wana get me any then give lame excuses...

Who knows..

Shall just observe...and be thankful...

I do try

2009-01-12T17:23:00.000-08:00

It's there all the time.
The moment I wake up.
Till I sleep.
Even when I sleep, I can feel it.
And then making me unable to sleep.
How do you do it?
It's so easy for you.
Distractions doesn't seem to work.
Unlike you.
Can I be you?

Sleepless nights

2008-12-30T13:05:00.000-08:00

I have already lost so much this year so what is another lost right? So many questions in my head but to ask will only make it hurt more, not on my side but the other. After all, I am already torn, deep, so who cares. I hope that I have never made you feel alone or controlled your life. I only wanted it to be a strong and happy one.

I only have to accept and pray for the other party's well being.

Sadly, I love you and let you go.

That is what you want and I can only listen,

unwillingly.

Keeping it strong

2008-12-22T10:29:00.000-08:00

Been some time since I blogged. Only because, I have no idea what to blog about. Things happen during the days but its all only for the mind. A short kenduri for the aunty was done yesterday. 40 days has passed. It's fast. Whilst reading the doa's, I had to keep it all in. I fought so hard not to let any of those raindrop's fall. Others have gotten over it, somehow I have not. The wound is still raw. I still am not able to sleep on her bed, and I do have day dreams about her. Only I cannot tell. The pastry she left me is still untouched. I feel guilty, distraught that I never got to see & kiss her for the last time. I needed someone to just hold me yesterday. To tell me its okay to let the tears go. But no one was there. I guess, I will just have to learn that I am alone.. Always. No matter what he, she or they say. As they may be having a fun time outside or anywhere else and not thinking about you.

I have to keep strong..

Ouch

2008-12-13T21:35:00.000-08:00

Once is okay,

Twice not learned,

Thrice?

Never will..

2nd.....

Oh where oh where have my heart gone?

I wonder

2008-12-02T09:05:00.000-08:00

I wonder if I am hallucinating and if it is just me.

I wonder if I try too hard.

I wonder if I should just learn to let go.

I wonder if I should stay apart.

I wonder if I should just learn to accept.

But then haven't I adapt??

I wonder if things were different

would I still be here to listen.

I wonder if I am doing it right

Or maybe I am just playing it wrong.

I wonder if you love me

In fact I wonder if I love You.

I do not need anything.

But trust, honesty and affection.

Is that too much to ask?

Plans for tomorrow...

2008-11-21T16:04:00.000-08:00

Exams are finally over & done with. The feeling is so-so. 2nd paper was good but the 1st is a killer. I only have myself to blame for slacking too much. Thought I was ready but upon seating on that "hot seat", I realised I am lost and I did not prepare myself very well. All I can do right now is wait for the results and hope that I will pass. If not a credit, atleast a pass. Please...

Ever wondered if what you plan tomorrow will take place? So it was hurray hurray for me yesterday right. Nothing to revise at night no more. So was lying down in bed looking out into the skies when thoughts went running about back home. About her. It has been a week now. The days pass by so quickly yet it felt like I only received the news a minute ago. Then it got me thinking, what if she had planned to do something today last week. Unfortunately, she never got to do it. What if she had kept or held on to something to give to someone the next day but never got to do it either. Thinking of her made me think of how it is gona be like when I depart from the face of this earth. MasyaAllah..

Its not about not wanting to make MY decisions for me, its about what YOU want and I still making my own final decision. We just wana know if you need them there. You never learn...

I dreamt of her

2008-11-13T10:10:00.000-08:00

She Came in my dream last night. I was under some block going to the funeral. Then suddenly 3 people including her came out of nowhere. Cik Ja was pucat and she was WALKING in her black long dress. I remember being confused and asked the other 2 people, "I thought Cik Ja was dead? " Then someone just said "yea, but somehow she woke up in the middle of the night." And then cik Ja then came to me and hugged me and got me to seat down with her at those stools under the block. I remember shivering out of cold. I do not remember if me and cik ja talked, but somehow it felt like she did say something to me but i forgot, which I will always regret.

Wishing I was home right now to atleast be able to see her face for the last time.

How could I forget?!!

20 minutes more..

Tagged and doing due to boredom..

2008-11-12T20:49:00.000-08:00

1. The person who tagged you is?
-The sister, Fahima
2. Your relationship with him/her?
Mentioned above... Read.. seriously..*roll eyes*
3. Your 5 impressions of her/him.
Erm.. Lovely, Tall, Childish but loving too and my Life!
4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you.
erm..Geez this is tuff!! HAHAHH! Not in the right mind to think of any.
5. The most memorable thing she had said to you?
I love you
7. If he/she becomes your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be?
Her temper
8. If she/he becomes your enemy, you will?
make her my friend
9. (Repeat Question)
Next!
10. What is it you want to tell her/him now?
No more tags please...
11. Your overall impression of her/him is?
Question repeated..
12. How do you think ppl round you will feel around you?
Oh My God, I so dun wana let her go..
13. The characters you love of yourself are?
Loyal and always there for people.
14. On the contrary,the characters you hate yourself are?
I dun hate myself..
15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
My dad
16. For people that care and like you, say something to them
I love you just as much
17.Pass this quiz to 5 people that you wish to know how they feel about you.
I shall not bother about this question thus dun have to bother about the rest and so deleted.. Yay!!

In remembrance to my late aunty Azizah Mohamad Noor,

Kembali ke Rahmatullah pada haribulan

November 12th 2008 at 4pm.

You are always on my mind.

I guess this is the time when we talk of all the happy moments with her.

I remember her always asking one of us siblings to go across the road to buy food and then tipping us.
I remember her waking up for subuh and then not sleeping until all of us children have gone to school.
I remember her asking me to get her chocolates from aussie and all I did was said I will try, when I should have said SURE..
I remembered kissing her on the cheeks before I left this year in august, and she actually cried suddenly. I thought it was just one emotional moment.
I remember her seating on that brown chair in the kitchen and telling nani how to cook stuffs.
I remember when I duno where the stuffs are, I will just need to ask her and she knows where I put it.
I remember her telling nenek where SHE keeps all her stuffs as nenek is pretty much forgetful these days.
I remember waiting at GH when she was having her triple By pass operation and saw how happy she was when she saw us at the waiting room after her operation.
I remember her volunteering to pay for kenduri's just cause she wants people there.
I remember people calling her CNN.
I remember how people always talk to her and tell her not to tell anyone, yet they know, she cannot keep it.

There are just so many to remember her by. I guess the only thing I will never forget is seeing her cry when I left 3 months ago. Things happen when I am not there. But I take this as a test from Him. Atleast I know, this time, I am not alone and I have someone with me to hold me. For that I'm grateful.

Cik Ja, I love you..

hrmmss

2008-11-06T18:48:00.000-08:00

Would you love her for her, or just for the memory of her?

Question is,

Are you doing it for her, or for you..

Seriously?

She can only ponder..

And wait to see..

as the darker days ahead unfolds before her

"Or not..."

As you do not even TrY to assure..

I fail as a poet..

Don't u?

2008-10-18T18:30:00.000-07:00

The only thing I want has a huge question mark on it.

Denial should not be confusing

It is painstakingly painful too

Maybe I should try?

Dee is Okay

2008-10-09T14:44:00.000-07:00

She is okay.

Why wouldn't she be?

She has a great family

Great friends & company,

A good life, past & present

She is blessed & lucky.

So she is okay.

Right?

No one can ask for much more..

Amin..

Syawal Over The Seas

2008-10-08T15:28:00.000-07:00

2nd one consecutively. Do not really wana say much for some reason. I shall just let the pictures do the talking.

My one and Only.. If all else fails, I only want you...

Shout out to people in Perth. Thanks for being a good host and it was a great last few days. One can only ask for so much. Love ya.. You know who I mean *winks*

The JeaLoUs Girlfriend

2008-10-02T08:42:00.000-07:00

I Don't think it was so much about the "insults" thrown at me but it was more that He joined in and did not atleast try to salvage or help the situation. And him leaving me alone at the back whilst walking alongside the other only makes it more hurting. Making me feel like as though I am not there; an outsider, which I already am somehow. And then unfortunately during those times when he do make conversations or jokes with you like the usual, you are either tired or too heartbroken with the accumulated hurtful passing remarks that you do not want to or atleast bother to have a chat back. And then he would ask what's the matter, and all you want to say is nothing or just keep a silent face. Because you just do not want to spoil everything or do not want to seem petty cause seriously one can only take that much level of pain. And then he will give us his black look, the look of confused, of what-did-I-do-now-look and then gets depressed. Then you are the one who has to try and 'save' the relationship even though you are the one who is hurt in the first place. Deeply hurt. Guess that is a woman's role. No matter what, we sacrifice. Guys never do give in a 100% as much as we do. No wonder, we fall the worse.

The times spent here has been nothing but times when I want to just be in my own hole. I'd rather be alone far away then be near to so many people I know and yet not feel welcomed from time to time. The 1st day of syawal held a big pang in the heart. Reluctantly, I left with them. I do appreciate having someone around during the greatest of times but somehow not yesterday. Infact, not for the past few days.. Don't get me wrong, the hosts are great. I get fed and taken care of. But in return, I have to do and suffer a great deal too; both mentally and emotionally.It really is not a nice feeling. Managed to call home and shed a few tears for the first time on this EID whilst chatting with mummy. Sometimes, I just wonder why I do what I do for a certain special someone; whoever that is. On a lighter note, we did take pictures and was able to view the celebration held at home via webcam. MasyaAllah, it was really just a lonely night and a lonely day to begin with..

Been asked if I was the wife or the girlfriend and only God knows what goes through my mind when I get asked that. I get disappointed, sad, worried, tired, lonely whenever we talk about this certain other problem. And I think alot when I know there is a secret that I do not know. I get paranoid wondering if its about me. And though you get told its not, there is that part of you which tells you it is. But then again, can we trust our intincts? Its like you tell someone everything and you would expect one to reciprocate. Only to find out, only you talk so much more than necessary. You want to stop. Stop caring, stop meeting, stop thinking. But you are so close and used to sharing and doing things together that you find it difficult to do. Haix, challenges of my life. And when you do get to talk together about what you think the problem is and how it can be solved or what other people want for us, which is only the best, he will only answer back. Which is very much not helping and unsupportive yet you have been for him throughout the entire journey. Again, no wonder usually girls fall hard.

Was to go out early today but the cousin is sleeping. We slept late last night having to clean the house after the open house and he had to wake up early today to send the brother-in-law. Seriously, what will I remember of this trip? God knows..

Selamat Hari Raya '08

Maaf Zahir dan Batin..

Secrets within secrets

2008-09-17T17:36:00.000-07:00

I have a problem. I do want to talk about it but to talk about it would mean to let the secret out. Respecting a certain someone who trusts me with things stops me from being able to communicate properly with people around me. I am not able to speak directly but in circles. And when I do get to let it all out, the person I confide in to does not really decipher deeply cause he or she do not know the whole bigger picture. Even as I am writing this I feel like I am writing in one big circle only to come back to square one; not being able to talk about it and thus people unable to comprehend.. An even more irritating situation is when people think they do know what your problem is but in actual fact that is only a small part of it. And then an even more stupider situation would be, the thing or person you have a problem with Knows what your problem is but ain't doing anythin about it, or maybe is unable to. I have a problem. A big Problem. Who can I talk to that will understand the whole BIG Picture and keep this secret I keep, a secret?

If you want Love, Love you will get.

By changing the way you think of a situation, you change the bad energy.

I am not going to a dark place.

Try not to take things too seriously.

Its all easy to take in and remember BUT isit that simple to follow..?

Why do guys act as though you are their world at one time and then treat you as how they usually do on the other? You can never know what they are thinking at the time and then when you pull back, they get taken aback. It somehow is always us girls having to give in when they feel like being close to you and us girls having to understand why they are distant and thus us having to distant ourselves too even if we don't want to.

Beautiful Disaster

2008-09-16T16:29:00.000-07:00

It is merely the power of suggestion. Whether you believe or not is entirely your choice. But to accept and embrace the findings of some other people is a gift. A gift of being able to share and learn new things.

Yesternight was a wonderful night to look out at the moon. It was around 6+pm in Adelaide, over in the skies were a fog of cloudy skies covering the bright light. With a gust of wind, the clouds moved sideways revealing the oh-so-beautiful full moon shining ever so brightly. It was enticing and had a serenity which only can be experienced and remembered. It was beautiful..

Credits to MR Q.

FME test today was disastrous. Thank God I am not the only one who thought so. Now, that is a relief! But now that the test is over, I can so look forward to the trip to Perth in exactly a week's time.

I am getting paranoid about the smallest details. I do not want the semester to end, but I want to graduate now. Confused? So am I.. Sometimes, I have to remind myself to only look ahead as far as tomorrow...

I can finally begin on the scrap book!

Random Babbles

2008-09-14T16:30:00.000-07:00

Currently 545pm here in adelaide. Just finished cooking for break fast which is in 20 minutes time and also finished revising for the upcoming test this tuesday. Finish? mmm.. It never will be seriously. But I am done for the day I suppose. Never could get the butt down still with an open book on the table since I lived here. The cousin is trying very hard to finish his assignments due on tuesday too. He has been procastinating alot and is freaking out. Well padan muka! hehehe, kidding..

A week before the end of the 1st term of the semester. And then off to pErth to meet the lovely sister and cousin-in-law to celebrate Raya with. Obviously I wished I could be home but then no money leh so the next best plan will be to Perth then. Kill 2 birds in one stone anyways.. Get to travel and see what's there and also get to meet the family! woohoo! Speaking of which, I so need to make sure we know where to visit once we are there. Or else, it will be a wasted 10 days trip.

Report due tomorrow has finally been collated and ready to be printed. Wohoo! Most of the time, I do last minute work & always freak out when it is not done. But I make sure it will get done on time and when it is already done, you feel satisfaction. Then I always tell myself the next time I will have to begin earlier for obvious reasons but then...... yea, who listens?

Spring is finally here!! I know it is cause I am not wearing my hoodie when I go to school now. Hooyah!! It feels just like the Singapore weather only alot cooler.

Got the stuffs for our scrap book. I was thinking what to I entitle it?

Our Aussie life
Life in Australia
Our stories away from home..

Any suggestions!???

I just missed the AIESEC elections today.. On purpose.. I mean I gota set my priorities right? I need to study for my test which before today I had not touched at all!! Oh well.. I don't feel Aiesec-y any more anyways..

I am starting to read back all my entries and am beginning to realise I do not have much to jot down anymore. But then to delete the blog will be wasteful. All the memories, pains, happiness... mm.. Maybe I shall just leave it but be inactive.. No one reads anyway...

Puzzles sometimes answer themselves in their own time and sometimes you just never do find them, cause you weren't meant to. But then, some people believe puzzles have several possible solutions and there is always an answer to them. What do you reckon?

Delicacies

2008-09-06T21:51:00.000-07:00

Get asked would you rather have someone whom you love or be with someone whom loves you more? The heart tells you one thing and then the whole world, well literally, tells you another. Then because it gets so frustrating and confusing, in the end you just remind yourself, you do not want to bother about this and just wait and see what happens. Right?

Well yeah, you can wait and just see what happens but then you can also do something and make sure what you want DO happen! Get what i mean? No? Doesn't matter, let's just not bother about this. HAH!

Just out of curiousity.. Why isit can't cousins marry? I mean yeah they can but its not advisable.. Why? Anyone knows? Besides the usual excuses of hereditary diseases, what else?

Nearly a week already since Ramdhan started! Hoo yah! Time do pass by damn quick.

Food for thought?

Kueh Dadah tak menjadi.. Well atleast it tastes like one.. Hehe

Whole meal for the 6th day of ramadan '08

Full western plate anyone?

Notice the bandung and cake!? YUM!!!

Should I get PR or not? Decisions, decisions...

I thought they are already tied up!

2008-09-04T00:11:00.000-07:00

This is seriously no longer funny anymore. I thought the Devils are supposed to be tied up by now. It is already the 3rd day of Ramadhan! Or did some of them get loose? heheh

Okay, what the heck am I blabbering on about? I dreamt again last night.

I was in this bus and I was with my chinese friends from high school. If I remember right, they were, adeline, santi, elizabeth? Anyways, so we were in the SBS and there was these 2 malay guys. One of which caught my attention. What made me think about him till now is the fact that he dressed up like those old age kinda guy. Like in the 70s. During mummy dearest time. But anyways, he had my attention the whole bus trip. And then suddenly, me and my group of girls alighted at the interchange and was heading to some junk foodstore where we were late for work. Whilst walking, suddenly this motorbike zoomed passed us and then somehow went as slow as our brisk walking pace. Then we stopped and the bike stopped and out came the helmet. It was HIM! One of my close guy friends. Apparently, he was sending his friend to work and somehow we met. Then we saw each other and before I was gona head to work, we had a short conversation which went like this :

Me: da habis kerja?
Him: Lagi satu jam..(with a serious face)
Me: ok..
Him: Nanti keluar ah..
Me: UH?
Him: nanti keluar.. Jumpe jap..
Me: oh okay.

Then I left.. And the last I remembered, we girls were running around away from some mice? I know, weird dreams!! No connection what so ever.

Anyhoos, just a picture I thought I wana share. It is my 1st Aiesec Conference. A great experience!

Isit okay to feel both thankful and sorry at the same time?

2008-09-01T11:09:00.000-07:00

I have been dreaming alot these past few days. The cousin has been telling me that I have been mumbling in my sleep. That is so unglam lah. Like as far as I know, I have never been told that I mumble in my sleep. I have been told that I sleep like a dead person only. Oh shyt!

There are 2 distinct dreams that I can remember exactly. One was about this guy whom I am close to and we live together. So in this house, there is my parents, me & him. At first. Then suddenly, a girl friend of mine, hana from malaysia, moved in for some reason. Note that I do not like this hana, in real life. hahah! So anyways, she shared the room with the guy. Trust me I do not know why she did not share the room with me instead, you know being girl & girl. So then the guy's room had their beds apart with a study table in between at first. So it was maghrib, I went to take my wudhu and when I came out, I saw the guy and hana just finished praying. And they were praying together. And then I got jealous for some reason because this guy has NEVER been an imam to anyone much alone a girl and in my mind, I was thinking only husband and wife do that. And I was thinking something is happening between them. And then the next day when I walked past their room, I saw the bed moved closer. Now without the table in between. Since then, I did not talk to the guy though he kept on denying things cause I was angry and jealous I suppose..

Then another dream I had was in this whole house was full of ladies. All of whom I know. Cousins, aunties, Grandma. And we went to this show. Upon reaching home, a girlfriend of mine who was with me got a call. An aunt of mine had died. The irony is, I just met her after so long 2 days ago and we were wearing black and the aunt is an english woman. And I woke up, knowing that I feel sad but thankful that the call was not about dad.

Its just weird lah kan! These 2 stories. I have no idea what triggered it to happen but yah, it did.

On a lighter note, I was at a meat shop with the cousin yesterday and I saw a hot and tall, good looking guy! And the best part is he is a muslim!! He said assalamualaikum and was speaking one language which I will think is either lebanese or arab? But even my cousin agrees he is hot! Omg!! There are hot muslims here in ADL. FinallY!! And for all you know, he is living around the area since he bought halal meat at that shop..! WOHOO!!

Hahah.. OKay dee outs. I have got to start revising!

Perth in 4 weeks?

One.. two..

2008-08-29T23:56:00.000-07:00

2 more days to Ramadhan. 2 more days to September. It can only mean with the days passing by, the nearer it is to flying back home. But first stop is Perth, to meet the lovely cousin Aishah to embrace Syawal! Away from home in a foreign land with a family. Ain't life a bliss when you do not think so much about what you are really missing back home.

Daddy dearest called today! Just love hearing his voice. Notice the trend where kids usually talk to the mum but seldom to the dad. Somehow, talking to mum makes it easier and she is always the more understanding one. But I guess, this episode of my life has changed. Since I came back for daddy's operation, and returned to Adelaide, whenever daddy calls, we seem to communicate so much more and when it comes to mummy's turn, I see myself repeating what I just said to dad. Oh well, atleast now daddy will not feel left out.

Mummy got herself the most inspiring & favorite teacher award and she is so happy! Alhamdulillah ibu! Little sister managed to get herself distinctions for her test or was it exams!? YAY!!! Someone is really keen on getting herself a lappy...*winks* And dad? Alhamdulillah, he is growing strong! Been going out with either mum or friends, exercising, and though sometimes forced, atleast he is doing it. Little brother? mmm what to say about him? Still not at home as always but I am proud to hear that atleast when the mum or dad asks him to send or pick them up, he will do it. Well he better! He is getting free petrol for every ride... And mind you he goes out alot!

Cannot wait to begin fasting! But then the hassle of having to think of what to have for break fast is a pain in the ass. But then again, when breaking fast amongst the friends and family, or going to the mosque to sembahyang terawih just mesmerises me all the time.. And at the end of the month, the takbir, beautiful..

Sometimes, things just do not go your way and you can only have to live with it.

Flashbacks

2008-08-12T22:17:00.000-07:00

The alarm just rang off and reluctantly I had to get off the cold bed. It is freezing at 3 degrees and 13 degrees tops today. I thought I had accustomed to that already. Boohoo..

Showered and left with the abang to school. Whilst waiting at the bus stop, I was just wondering what the hell am I doing in Adelaide when I was only in Singapore yesterday! Then all the 2 weeks events came crawling back into the already packed mind. Was so jetlag that I could hardly open my eyes but I knew I just had to attend or I am gona miss so much more. On top of that, I have already missed the morning Optical Communication Lectures. So then reached Napier and I felt like an alien in that school. Can you believe I actually lost my way? I could not find my lecture theatre at first. My goodness to think I only went back for 2 weeks..The day then just seem to find me cuddled up in bed, unpacking stuffs, and more cuddling. Hur hur..

Left the family yesternight at 1110pm at Changi Airport Terminal 3. The cousins and some relatives came and even daddy dear sent me.. Though groggy from taking his meds. So sweet lah kan!? Took loads of pictures and had lots of hugs and I went into the transparent gate with a heavy heart and a promise to my dad that he will see me in December, InsyaAllah. I had a morning check up at SGH with the parents. The evening was spent at Tanjong Katong Complex with the 5 of us altogether eating our favorite dishes after so long to celebrate each of our august birthdays; 3, 11, 16. Awesome! Just love this family to bits and pieces.. hehehe

Now I am unsure as to what time my class starts tomorrow.. How?? The group members are not online either..

& thanks to all of you who wished me birthday and the presents. A great 21 to remember..

The advices

2008-08-04T15:43:00.000-07:00

3rd of August '08 is surely a memorable one. A different touch to how people celebrate their 21st. Started with a Kentucky Fried Chicken meal with the immediate family at the stroke of midnight. A happy occasion as daddy dear just got discharged the day before too. He was very happy to be home mind you. And then it was just a boring morning, then afternoon with visitors for ayah and then evening came.

The family and I went down to the 9th floor and celebrated my birthday. It was nice to see relatives there. Praying and all. It was a great feeling to be amongst that crowd. And then there was the cutting of the ice cream cake from swensons which was so hard that the knife broke while trying to cut it. Collection was alhamdulillah good too!

At 930pm, went out with the TP mentors. Drove to bedok reservoir and ate sushi's and got updated with each and everyone's lives! It amazes me how easy people talk about sex and premarital sex. But I shall not delve into that.

Got home and met Hana, Rizal and Isa under the block! It was so nice to see her again!! Thanks eh for the delicious cake and presents! Weird but funny.. haha Only you will think of that!..

Ended the day sleeping...
A week left to school.. Am I really looking forward to it?

I am so glad u told me ain.. We will go thru this together.. Mail me so we can share..:)
Love ya beb.. TAKE CARE

The Celebration

2008-08-01T18:07:00.000-07:00

Invitations, RSVPs, Catering, Location, Presents and what nots. These are what future 21 year olds will do, or most of them atleast, weeks before their big day. Excited and all geared up ready to venture into their adult life.

Except for this one 21 year old. All she will ever remember of her 21st is early mornings and late nights to SGH. Not that there is any complains. Taking care of Daddy, being his PA; answering calls, conveying and sending messages. I am glad I went home and was able to do all this for him and mummy. Daddy dear finally got discharged today. Alhamdulillah. Though test results are not out yet and docs say his cancer cells is aggressive, the family and I are hoping that it will go away insyaAllah with the treatment he will be getting. He will have to undergo radio and chemo therapy. InsyaAllah with constant prayers and always remembering HIM from everyone, daddy dear will be able to live long and healthy.

Which reminds me, thank you to all of you who did pray for him. I am pretty sure, it made a difference. Only HE knows how much appreciation we have for each and everyone of you who visited and prayed. People not in the family whom we treasure most that I should mention is, Isa, Idayu, and the parents Best Friends and Friends. Not forgetting, Cik Hashim and Cik Daud who came all the way from UAE and Cennai just to see ayah. And Kak Sya in Perth who could not come back but still called. Alhamdulillah!

Finally, relieved abit, I was able to talk and laugh abit with the friends and finally agreeing to go out with them.

Then getting ready for all the home visits from people all over again. Only now I know how tiring a "famous" person can be..

2 more days to my 21st!

10 more days to Home..

What I want for 21st?

2008-07-24T23:41:00.000-07:00

A gift of hope
A gift of love
A gift of courage
A gift of faith
&
A gift of life

An irony when you complained so much about how you are gona have to spend your 21st over in the foreign land without your family. Then you have gotten ready all your invitations, your dishes you wana do, the place. You then realise you did not have to waste time on all that. Cause you will in the end get to spend it with the ones you love most, the family!

Yes, I am back. Back home, in Singapore. I just reached last evening at 5pm on the dot. A call the previous night from the mother left me shaken non stop and tearful. Daddy dear's tumour is back. Upon reaching, I saw the mum and the cousin seating and chatting. Hugged mummy dearest and waited for the brother to clock out from his SIP in TP and we headed straight to SGH. Daddy knew I was gona come back. He said he had a feeling and was asking why I did? Well with you like that, even if I was gona get married that day, I rather come back!! Spent the entire evening there and today too.

People come and go. All were surprised to see me but somehow mentioned they knew I was gona come back. Alot of people do not know too that I am already home. One particular uncle mentioned ayah' s face looked 'bengkak'. Whatever, negative they have to say always makes me uneasy. Can't they shut up!?

I felt ayah seems okay but I am only fine when I am with him. The moment I leave him there, I feel uneasy all over again. WHY!!??? He is scared this time, he told me. He is afraid he will not be able to work as a teacher again. Doctor's said the risk is 5% but it still is up to HIM. Well atleast he is honest.

I can't go on anymore about this. It just makes me think more. And the more I think, the more I am bothered. People please pray for him. A simple blessing can mean so much.

In all defense, I am glad it happened after the exams. And the birthday is august 3rd. I hope it will have a happy ending..

I love you daddy..

Am I Independent enough?

2008-07-14T13:58:00.000-07:00

I thought being away for a year has taught me to be independent enough. I realised I was wrong. Yesterday at 0930 adelaide time, I was left alone for the first time in the cosy house in Norma Street. The cousin then called at 1145 informing me of his boarding the SQ aircraft. Told me to have fun at my "worlds" and to call if need be. I always had someone around the house at the village (my 1st accommodation upon arriving in adelaide), thus was never really alone. This time, I feel like I have been shut out of the whole world and alone. Well, literally. 2 weeks is long but I shall persevere and not complain. Shall not bother him either. Let him have peace and fun at home with his family instead of worrying unneccessarily. It is only fair. InsyaAllah, HE will keep me company.

Exams ended a week ago. Realise how fast time flies? Before you know it, school reopens & my big day just round the corner. The 2nd time an important day for me and having to spend it in Adelaide. The past week have been quite fun. Cousin from UAE and a friend of the other cousin visited us before leaving yesterday and today. Travelled to the whispering wall, Melba's (a must go everytime someone comes), the big rocking house, Gorge Wildlife again, Victor harbor, Mount Lofty and the best event of all; we trekked up Morialta Water Falls. It was the most fitting, tiring but best experience ever! Pictures of this week will be up as soon as the cousin comes back which is in 2 weeks times.

Picture updates:

Melbourne Trip (Kak Ja & Abg An)
Adelaide (Kak Ja & Abg An)
Brisbane Trip (The 3 worlds)
Adelaide (Ilyas & Hilmi)

Will be leaving for Brisbane tomorrow. Cannot wait to go as I do not intend to stay alone in the house for long. Hahx! Gona have fun!!!

The Villager's Last Sunset in the City..

2008-07-03T17:00:00.000-07:00

So it ended with a BANG! He said it was gona be easy but it so was not! But the again, he was the one who set the paper and he IS the lecturer and he HAS been teaching this module for the past what? 10 odd years? OBviously it is easy for him but it was so difficult for the rest of us who learnt it in just 3 frigging short months! And then we are gona forget all about it for the entire rest of our lives. Anyhoos, just happy that the exam fiasco is over and done with.

Next plan is the brisbane trip on the 15th of july. Getting ready and counting how much is needed. I am gona go to the gold coast, dream world, sea world & movie world. I am so damn Fugging Excited!! Weeee!!

Currently alot of people are walking past my windows. Some to the airport to fly off to god knows where. Some to go out as it is a thursday night. And some just having a walk along the corridor.. Yea..

I just noticed that Sarah Jessica Parker is damn hot! She has sharp jawlines. Infact its sharp everywhere. Pointy! Can I be like her?? Hehe I think I am not as thin as I used to be. I used to be the one people thought had an illness. Thought I do not eat. Now its no longer the case. Not that it is bad but means only one thing. I am growing sideways! Shyts!

Had a long chat with the housey yesternight about guys. She apparently is in a dilemma. Wondering if a guy likes her or not. He seems to be giving her all the hints but keeps on saying that he is gona woo this other girl at the end of the year too. So she is confused. Unsure if he likes her or not. Tip to guys, only girls can be indecisive. You guys have no right to.
But then it got me thinking like how come I am not thinking so much about this wanting to have a relationship thingy. Not that I do not want a bf. Ofcourse I do but I am not bothered about not having one right now. But then I was asked this yesterday;

When are you gona have one then?

And truthfully, I cannot answer. It could be next year, next month or even tomorrow. Time will tell right? Love.. a very interesting but tiring subject to talk about. All the time..

Cousin is coming on monday and a friend on the tuesday. Will be a busy week I hope. Haha just to fill up the time.. Yay!

Shifting house is tomorrow after pipi finished her last paper. She has the car therefore asked for her help. I have like 1 big bag & a few smaller bags to bring over. I am wondering what did I buy since I was here? Officially from tomorrow, I am no longer a villager who lives in the city.

Know what I want for my 21st birthday? 21 different things... Anything..

Or A chance to go home...

Somethings you can never have..

PS: Currently entertaining myself with the movie, Sex and The City.

The last Lap

2008-06-28T17:05:00.000-07:00

I have finally got a time to myself for the day. 3 papers finally over, one being just this evening, and the last one on Wednesday July 2nd. Intensive studying for the final paper starts tomorrow. Do pray for me people. Details on the last 3 paper?? It is okay. Hahx, I dare not assume the best or the worse for that matter. I start to ponder on how ridiculous it is that our whole future lies in just that few hours seating in that "Hot Seat" after being painfulessly stuck on that module for the whole semester. Then the area is under construction and noisy and mind you its 8 degrees out there. How to concentrate!?

I was watching the TV when I heard this saying. There are 7 people in the world who can be your potential partner. And then I remembered being told that there is also 7 people in the world who looks similar to you. And when you put two and two together, you realise.. No Wonder.!! One potential partner for each. Agree? hehehe...Just a thought..

Kumari just left for Singapore last thursday and she was so sad leaving us. This is the last semester we are living in The Village, me and her. I have yet to move after exams but she has already left. You should see the amount of stuffs she had to pack to move.. I have moved bit by bit so I guess when pipi come and help me on friday to move to the cousin's house, I shall be ready..

I am currently looking for dates to brisbane and I found the best ones!! 15th-22nd of July. I am so excited!! Things I plan to do there?? Well go to the theme park ofcourse.. And Gold Coast. Hoo yah!! Now I am excited.. I like being spontaneous. Did not plan to go anywhere but since a friend of mine ain't going back, I decided why not??

I know, I promised some of you guys melbourne pics but I did not have time and no pictures. I promise once I am settled at the new place AND got the pictures, I will post it up!! YAY!!!

Finally...

2008-06-08T22:16:00.000-07:00

21 hours ago, I was on my way back from a club called London Tavern. It was a 21st celebration for a friend of mine. A group of 50 gathered in the common room of the village at 7pm and had a walking parade to a restaurant named Spices at North Terrace, Rundle Street. There we were welcomed by another batch of early birds, friends of Syazi's. 2 tables were filled and we had 6 different types of dishes and by the time we finished, we were all too full with food that I felt lazy to get up. It was an eye opener Saturday I must say. One, with a different side of culture I have never dared venture into but glad I did, for experience. I am also glad that the 2 important people back at home has brought me up very well to resist things best for yours truly future.

School is finally over but the worse is yet to come. Exams. For the 1st time, I am feeling real pressure with the exams approaching. Please.. help me god.. I need to do well! Final Projects are already out and there is so little to choose from but yet still hard. I do not want any projects with software programming but being in electronics, that is a pretty critical thing to have. Oh Well.

Got one more assignment, one report and one test for week 13 before I can get rid of it of my already packed mind. I just have to mention that I am so proud of myself for getting a 97/100 mark for my radio project. It is a project where I had to build a radio which can detect radio frequency signals and really in the end play songs on that circuit itself!! It had 5 different parts to it. Local Oscillator->Mixer->Low Pass Filter->BJT Amplifier->Audio Power Amplifier and then to the speaker. At first the mixer did not work when the demonstrator was checking it. But I decided to play around with it and WALA! it worked all over again. Thank god!! So from a mark of 80, it jumped to a 97!! I am so proud of myself..!!

Melbourne pics will be up only after exams. The pics are currently only with the cousin and to get it transferred to me will take ages! So wait up for it people. Beautiful pictures to be seen!

Have you guys listened to the song Hanya Ingin Kau Tahu by one Indonesian group?Gr8 song, look out for it people!!

Tomorrow, intensive studying begins!

Raised!!

2008-05-22T15:37:00.000-07:00

I raised the FIRST TN TAKER for this year!!

And the best part is, I only have been in AIESEC for like what?

6 weeks??

I am exhilirated!

I admit alot of it has got to do with luck,

BUT without my hardwork in gettin profiles,

it will not have happened too!

Plus I was the one who made the appointment for a 2nd meeting.

Today at 1125am, I officially became big headed!

Tsk tsk!

Perfect...!

~Melbourne tomorrow!~

So not looking forward to it as I have a frigging test, no 2 TESTS on wednesday:(

DIE!!!

Superb Sunday!

2008-05-18T21:49:00.000-07:00

It started out as a hectic week and ended of as the best weekend ever! Relaxing with nothing on the mind. Well there is lah actually. When I am day dreaming, I tend to think of what I should actually be using my brains and fingers on instead of wasting it BUT I decide to let it just be stalled at the back of my head. Just for this week please....

So what did I do this today?
Started with a trip down to Uni to get some VHDL programming done on our FPGA counter. Programming and me just do not fit. Its an irony how I get through nearly 4 years of programming already and some even scored yet I still do not understand most of it. Or I tend to forget. Its like it is there, the basics, but only He knows what I really remember. But luckily I got good team mates who may be annoyed sometimes that I am already 3rd year but still blur BUT are always there to help. hur hur.. Love these guys..

I then left by 340pm as I had another date with the housemates at home! Yes people I typed it right. A date at home! Tomorrow is the inspection of our house and we agreed to clean up the house today at 1600 together! Thank god it did not rain today so I managed to walk to and from Uni. A great exercise! The moment I stepped into the house " I'm HOME!!" It was exciting to work altogether cleaning up the household. Its something we only do once a semester. HAHA.. We ended it with an order in marcellina pizza together with a movie entitled "August Rush". A very non practical movie but musical nonetheless.. I know, I have been watching so much movies this week! And I love it!

Then mummy called. I just love it when she calls.. and hearing my daddy's voice in the background.. Lovely people I can never live without. 3 weeks left of school.. Weeee!!

I just have to keep telling myself.. I am strong...

Over & Out

2008-05-17T18:35:00.000-07:00

Finally the hectic week is over.. Well for now.. A test was done which I think will flung badly. Damn! Lucky only 5%. And 2 assignments back to back was handed up with me feeling satisfied with the results I got. Phew.. Congratulated myself by not doing anything but watch movies online the whole of last night.

What happened in Vegas
Prom Night 2008
The Holiday

They are both a typical American stories. I recommend you to watch them only if you have so much money to waste. Hah! Now The Holiday however is a MUST watch..! Superb.. And Jude Law is just amazingly Hot.. Like Seriously..

Did I mention that winter is almost here? It is like 8 degrees last night lah! And I had to wait at the bus stop for the bus which was supposed to come every 15 minutes for a blardy 45minutes! I had a freezing nose and numbed toes. I just had to come home to a hot bathe. Thank God for that!!

Monday is House inspection over at the village. The housemates decided to clean up the house at 4pm and then order in domino's and end it with a movie over at the common room! Like happening lah kan! When you do things with your housemates once in a while.. Superb! Bonding babes.. Hahx..

And now shrek is playing on tv.. Wohhoo!! 3 weeks to end of semester.. I am partly looking forward to it and not.. Hmmm...

Its raining all over again..

Some love starts with hate
And sometimes before you know it, it fades
Most love is blind
But seriously, who minds?
Then there is the saying
"It's better to love than never to love at all"
I mean come on..
I know I am not going anywhere with this
It is not a poem, or is it?

~Exams~
25th June-2nd July '08

Sushi Train

2008-05-09T22:38:00.000-07:00

Have you guys ever ate in a sushi restaurant where the trays will go by one by one and the whole belt is full of it? I had once in Singapore a long time ago & today me and a housemate decided to have one friday night out eating sushi at Gouger St. It was full and we had to wait our turn. We expected it as it was a friday night. But boy was it worth the wait. The 'chefs' are all japanese guys. Not all were cute, I think I only saw one or two but boy when they speak, FuYoo!! Sexay! I spent up to 18 bux of sushi and I was still not full! I had a plate of lobsters, tuna, crab meat, I think there was a chicken and cucumber. The wasabe was perfect! I could feel the smoke coming out of my nostrils! I ended the dinner with a Wendy's Ice Cream cone of Chocolate Caramel Deluxe and then got home heading to the "bowl". Seriously, how the heck can one remain full for long?? Wish I brought my camera. Oh well, wait till the end of the semester and I am gona bring all 3 housemates again and have a splurging sushi partay! WohoO!!

Pissed of is too nice a word. It was more of vexed! Have you ever been made to feel as though everything was yours to blame when it was never yours in the first place? That's what I have been feeling with this one girl who happens to be my classmate, my lecture mate, my team partner AND a group partner!

Scenario:
So I split the duties to 2 parts. I did one and got her to do another. She had not finished her part yet, and she said...
Her: Dayah can you please next time tell me whatever you are doing. I mean we are a team right but you do everything and I don't know what you are doing.
Me: Yah, but you are still doing your part so I will tell you later lah..
Her: Okay yah whatever. *roll eyes*
A few minutes later....
Her: Eh can we like next time prepare before the practical so that I will not be lost with what you are doing.
Me: Yah can but you are always off to your DSA(another module of hers). So I did not want to disturb you. That's why I always meet up with terence and discuss. If not I would have asked you to come also.
Her: Yah that is true. I have to go through DSA as I am not sure of that one also. Then we can do after the practical ah or if you don't want also its okay.
So I was about to explain to her what I did that day on practical
Her: Eh I have to go home.
So I did not get to explain...While she was packing..
Me: Another thing you can do is do what I do. Every weekend, prepare yourself by reading the practical first and do the calculations so that when we meet for practicals, we can check both our calculations and try out both ways if different?
She did not reply instead left without a goodbye..

ANd today? She did not come for the lab and did not even bother to message me. And the best part is she had the frigging circuit board! Seriously, how pampered and sickening can a Malaysian be? Do you readers realise that it was always her blaming it on me? Never did she even think that she was wrong. She is making it out to be like I am not a good team partner. It good enough that I do not get her to do the calculations beforehand. The moment we step into the laboratory, she waits for me to tell her what to do and expects me to tell her whats happening. Why the fuck can't she read beforehand so that she will not be lost!So she claims...

FUCK FUCK FUCK!!

I am just counting down the weeks.. 4 weeks to end of semester..

ALLAH tgh berbicara samaku tentang sabar dan ikhlas...

Melbourne in 2 weeks!! wohoo!!

Stop & Stare 2 Observe...

2008-05-02T23:15:00.000-07:00

Wishing for the time to stop is nonsensical cause it is simply a wish which we all know is impractical to be met. What one can do is to discontinue with whatever you are doing and take the time to wallow your precinct. Sometimes you can see things which you don't normally regard as having a great significance to yourself be important to someone else. For example, I would always walk to school right. It is a 20 minute walk from the village to my University. And when walking, I will have to pass Rundle St. Now along Rundle St are shops. There are nearly 50++ shops along this street. A great place to go when you do come to Adelaide. Anyway, whilst walking one day, there was this middle aged guy, dirty and haggard, walking up to the people around asking stuffs. When you stay here for this long already, seeing this type of people tend to be a norm. But sometimes you wonder why don't the police or the government do something about it? They are pretty much a bother at times. One fine day, I was walking to school and seeing that I had a lot of time left before my next class, I decided to wander around Rundle. That was when I saw this man being chased by 2 policemen. He then fainted suddenly on the street. Then he got up and then fainted again. I was thinking can you actually faint twice? But there I was actually laughing at the weird antic he was doing and wondering the things you don't see back at home. Another thing to do when you are walking is to stop and stare up into the sky and embrace HIS wonders. If you are lucky enough, you will get to see different shapes within the clouds. It is beautiful.. I am currently in my 7th week of the semester. Just handed in my homework and data communications report. Very rushing today. Thank God it is over! I have got 5 more weeks left. 4 weeks to melbourne, 10 weeks to my camp as a leader at victor harbor and 11 weeks to Perth. Wohoo!! Life is bliss.. To my family, I am missing you guys.. :(

Hot stuff

2008-04-28T20:52:00.000-07:00

Aren't they cute people!?? I am okay with the 1st 2 but have yet to start a conversation with the 3rd one..

Oh their names?

Christopher, Andrew and Martin..
Okay just so you people know, I do keep in touch with hot SG guys too okay.. And I can think of a few right now..

But for now, indulge yourself with these 3...

tsk!

State Conference '08

2008-04-25T14:38:00.000-07:00

Woke up groggy and reluctantly. It was the 21st of April and I had to be in school by 830am. The state conference was beginning today.. Got ready and met Maryam to walk to school. On the way, this old man of around 40s stopped me and praised how good my body was. I am serious guys! haha.. He was asking if I was local and if I was gona stay here laters in the future. And when I said yea I might, he passed me his business card and left with a "call me". I did not bother looking at the card until much after only to realise he was someone who works in a modelling agency. Like are you serious!? WoohO! But I know not to call him back lah. 2 reasons.

He may just be some agent for a nudity modelling agency :p
I can only model over my daddy's dead body! hahx..

So upon reaching, almost everyone was already there. Went up to Martin(who was a real hottie btw but hate his attitude) and he asked me my name. I said hidayah and he was like " so that's a H right?" I answered "Nope, N"! and he was like "ok, whatever" with a smirk. Seriously, you can never know how they write down your name here. One minute is is Abdul Rahman, Nurhidayah and another minute you are Nurhidayah Binte Abdul Rahman. Anyhoos, found out I was in the brown group which we call ourselves the cadbury's!

Wouldn't it be nice if AIESEC was cadbury

All the TN's would increase to GN's

The AIESEC XP will be a whole lot sweeter

Like a chocolate sundae with an OCC

If the RB's try to take a biteful,

We'd bite them back and say they taste delightful

Wouldn't it be nice!

We got closer as the days pass by AND we won the assassination game! weee!!

Parties were boring. I swear I felt so out of place. There were alot of drinks and drunks at the end of the party. I was more sitting just at the side watching people and having to be forced up to the dance floor. I felt so anti-social I tell you, it is so unbelievable. Other than that, New friends made, new crushes arised. Oh well.. a totally different culture I must say. But it was a great experience.

Now I have got to start revision all over again! Oh no!! The last weekend b4 school reopens.. Darns!

Now that State con is done, the next big thing is Melbourne triP!

Let d pictures do the walking..

2008-04-20T21:32:00.000-07:00

Here, we drove to St Kilda, an adventure playground. Then to Morialta waterfalls which unfortunately only has waterfalls in winter. However, it is a nice trek area with wildlife around. We then headed to Mount Lofty to watch the country from above as well as to catch the sunset.

We ended the 1st night with Baskin n Robbins and a drive around Glenelg and Aldinga beach.

And then we went to Gorge Wildlife Park on the 2nd day, where we had to drive up adelaide hills and MasyaAllah managed to see all those beautful sceneries I am sharing with you people right now. There are more but unfortunately I cant upload them all! It will take ages! After the wildlife park, we drove to Victor Harbor where we trekked around granite island thus able to see the penguins. We were suppose to be able to catch a glimpse of whales but to no avail..*sobs2* As there was still time, we wandered around victor harbor town and I swear that bank looks so much like Gringotts bank in harry Potter. Don't you reckon??

A drive down victor harbor proves to be great as you can see all those wonderful creations of HIM. MasyaAllah.. We even caught a glimspe of the windmill at kangaroo island. Too bad, I was not fast enough to get a picture. It was during sunset too mind you.. Not forgetting, we were caught in between a bush fire. Smoke everywhere! Something you don't experience in Singapore!

After that, we treated ourselves to a movie at the noarlungga cinema. We watched Street Kings. Not a bad movie I must say! A great 2 days seeing us home by midnight and leaving wonderful memories...

Now people, you know you can come here and have alot of places to check out! Wee!!

Well got to go now, have a friggin AIESEC state conference cum camp to attend to tomorrow. See you back here on Wednesday.. Chao!

It's not much, but it's home..

2008-04-17T00:58:00.000-07:00

It may be small and new but the moment you step in it, you feel right at home. I remember the first time I set foot into his house. It was the 1st day after the summer vacation back in heavenly hometown. After unpacking at the Village, I decided to join him and his mum at his house. It was in a suburb 2 stops away from the city. A detail I found out only after. On first impression, it felt cosy. It did not feel homey yet but cosy enough.

2 months later, it is a place I can see myself living in. Accessible and undaunting, you would find the area perfect for 2 youngsters who have left their loved ones behind, hopefully for a promising future. InsyaAllah.

Cooking has been her favorite past time these days. Today's specialty with him was...

The muffins by betty crocker..

Bread & Pudding (B4 baking)

Steak side dishes

His & Her Main Course

Bread & pudding (after bake)

Final Result...

Filling is the word to sum it up. Amin..

You guys should really congratulate us for making such tremendous progress in our culinary skills.. Seriously!

Updates:

Recce-ing adelaide tomorrow and friday. Places of interest would be;

St Kilda - Adventure playground

Pooraka Discount Market

Morialta - Waterfall

Melba's Chocolate Factory

Hanhndorf - a historic place

Mount Lofty - overlooking the whole of adelaide on top of a nice scenic view with the sunset

Fleurieu Peninsular - Windfarm and then to Victor Harbor

State conference at norwungga (I think that is how you spell it) under AIESEC on the 21st-23rd of April. Hope to have fun!
Melbourne on the 24th-27th May. Will be travelling by bus; greyhound, taking us a whole of 10 hours.
After which the cousin and her friend will be coming home to adelaide with us for about a week till June 2nd.
Perth on the 7th of july; after exams. Will be getting back by train which will take 3 days. Coming back to welcome a cousin of ours with open arms.

Happening lah kan!!

Mummy called last night and it was the first time I did not have much to talk about. Alot of the times we were hanging and it was only 930pm Adelaide time!! I was not tired was I? I mean I left for school at 10am and walked home for about an hour at 530pm, reaching home at 630pm. Maybe that was the reason, I was tired...

I think I am falling apart... dangs..

Btw, Happy Big day IFA & IZZAT! It was on april 16th '08..

Do you?

2008-04-11T22:27:00.000-07:00

yeDo you ever feel that you were confident of doing well in a test and then as you check through with the friends, you realise you did some stupid mistakes and then when the lecturer goes through again you feel shyt cause you know you have just flung the frigging test which you felt so confident about at first. That's exactly what I am feeling right now. And to think I spent 3 days just revising on this darn thing. Like seriously..? I am guessing it is only 10%? ONLY?? That is alot!! But everything happens for a reason right? I guess its good it happened now rather than during exams which I think is 80%. What am I doing? I am just being delusional.. ARGH!! I feel sulky :(

On the bright side, 2 weeks swot vac just officially started today. Suddenly so many things to take into account. Revision, assignments, last minute touch ups on the lab pracs, revision, projects, shopping?. Did I mention revision? I have this one module called communication, signal and systems which I am so not confident of at all. And hearing seniors telling me people fail and they got only pass is very much disconcerting. Seriously need to concentrate alot on this particular module this 2 weeks. So there really isn't any break is there?

To melbourne on the 23rd-26th May to meet the cousin who will then be coming home with us to adelaide for a short break. Like funky lah kan! So cannot wait!! Ofcourse, have to make sure all the work is in order before I leave. Time management dee, time management is very essential right about now!!

Just realised I went too far ahead! I have a camp this coming 21st to 23rd of april at some outskirts of adelaide! I reckon it is gona be fun but intensive learning about AIESEC.. Haix.. Q if you are reading this, I so cannot wait to see your design for me..!!! heheh..

23rd april is one day I shall not forget as it is MUMMY's birthday!! I think it is 46? Yea... it is.. Speaking of age, I just realised I am 21 this year. Where the heck did the time go to? I was only 17 the other day.. God dammit! I was only 13 once too! Gosh I still remember the day I was getting ready to go high school..And now, I am in the 3rd year of University.. Too fast man, too fast..

I just applied to be a volunteer here in South Australia.. It will give me a better chance of getting a PR here. I am so excited lah.. I am finally getting to see myself living here.. I can see myself travelling over the world with this volunteering community AND AIESEC of course. InsyaAllah, my life will finally not be in vain, I have realised what I wana do and what I can do.. Amin....

endless ramblings

2008-04-04T22:44:00.000-07:00

So the boyfriend missed the girlfriend since last week but did not take the initiative to call her up. The boyfriend complained to the wife every single day and the wife got fed up and told the boyfriend to call the girlfriend. The boyfriend then asked the wife to dial the number of his girlfriend and finally the girlfriend and the boyfriend was able to talk!

So it started with the boyfriend getting congratulated by the girlfriend on his promotion. And then they updated each other on their lives. And then the boyfriend passed the phone to the wife and so the girlfriend and the wife had another long talk about everything under the sun. It was just pure bliss.. After nearly a week or 2 of no communication, the boyfriend, girlfriend and the wife finally got to update on each others lives..

PS: Good luck to the wife for the interview at the vocational school on monday! No worries.. Sure can one..Have faith..

Got hit by hail storm on wednesday. It lasted for 5 minutes, YES only 5 minutes yet I got the chance to be hit by them. To think it really does hurt.. They are just mere small ice.. Ouch!

Was just bored and tired of studying, so I decided to cook. Yea, cooking helps you de-stress. All who agree raise up your hands!! me me!! Anyhoos, I did Mi Sup this time round and obviously it tasted good. Duh! It has fillings of tomatoes, hotdogs, cabbage, potatoes and capsicum. I am healthy, I know..BuRp...!

It is already the end of week 5. Another week before the 2 weeks mid semester break. Hoo ya! Alot of things to do though..

Catch up with the studies
Control assignment
DE programming
PED log book to be updated
Study for RF III test on wednesday!
Camp under AIESEC.

Yea I got into AIESEC!! It is a global student run community which helps to bring out and develop each potential. In AIESEC, we are able to go to work exchange programs. I got myself into ICx, incoming exchange. My department focuses on bridging companies into AIESEC so that for future AIESEC-ers who would like to work in their company as an intern in the future. So I have aimed to get myself into an aviation company in Germany. It being the best aerospace industry there is. Wish me luck people..!!

21st-23rd of april will see yours truly to a state conference(zzZzzZ; going more for the experience) somewhere in adelaide but on the outskirts of it. Parties will be held on both nights and I have to dress up vintage and cultural respectively. SHYT! I am such a slack person, who the heck cares to dress up! Can you believe I am stressing up about this dressing up thing? Like seriously lah seh! ARGH!!

End of semester marks the most important time of the year cause the family is coming down under! 2 cousins to be exact and then all 4 of us will be flying down to perth to meet the other sista. I am not sure if we are still gona do a road trip or flying.. Seriously, I do not care!! I just wana go around and meet all you lovey's!

ooo.. daylight saving gona end this sunday! weee!!

Aborigines..

2008-03-28T22:21:00.000-07:00

Great thing about this evening was just the performance!

and the get-together once again..

You have got to agree the little tykes are damn cute & will grow up to be hot princesses!

Takira & tikira. Sunset and Blue skies? Something like that..

Downside?

Went home hungry ..

a fine easter weekend

2008-03-23T14:15:00.000-07:00

It was the last day of the week before the long Easter Holidays. Stayed in the Uni up till 730pm to try and catch up with some lab work. The days felt so long as I had blisters on both foot & the band aid did not help, infact I reckon it only made the pain worse. To top it off, I had to go to Central Market to get some groceries for the weekend as well, it will not be open due to Easter ofcourse.

Fortunately, a weekend holiday over at the cousin's was a pretty much an exciting one. Planned to cruise around the neighbourhood but was cancelled due to some last minute unexpected circumstances.

It started out with the cousin coming over to get the DVD after his prayers at Adelaide Mosque which is a few streets, or if you like to call it; aisle, away from my home. We then left the home to his, next. Lazing around was pretty much what we did on the 1st holiday out of the next 3 more to come. I did however managed to conjure up 3 dishes which I must say am really proud of. Ayam tomato, Kentang goreng dan tempeh, sup sayur.. Although the sup sayur did not taste as great as I would expect it to be, I was happy with the other 2 dishes which I am pretty sure will be doing again in the near future.

Saturday got me rising at about 11am. It was a day which got me up and about as I was bored to my butt not doing anything. I was supposed to open the books but seriously, would you? So me and the cousin left the house at 330pm wandering aimlessly. I wanted to go get stuffs for the lasagna but the cousin suddenly made what I thought at first was a stupid idea, to walk all the way to Henley Beach. The distance? Lets see, from bus stop 4 all the way bus stop 24? It took us like nearly 3 hours plus2. It was definitely a great cold exercise with a lot of crappy talkings. Along the way, we passed by alot of shops and Barnicle Bill! Barnacle Bill is a restaurant which sells seafood. Venturing thus was a good idea in the end, as now if anyone intend to visit the state, we know what can be found along the stretch of road.

What else can we do along the beach? Dip our feets in after a long walk ofcourse!! The cousin then made another stupid idea. Walking all the way to Glenelg, another beach. And I being the nice cousin obviously agreed. It was another fruitful walk. We saw an area which was a chalet along the beach. Almost like at east coast chalet resort kinda concept and we decided we could prolly take the family there. Then, I got chased by a black bulldog! Mind you, I was standing still and the dog still came after me. In the end, I just had to squeal out! Thank god the dog stopped and went back to its owner. Or I swear, I would faint. We then reached glenelg at the right time, when the sun was about to set. Bootiful is the only word to explain the sight we saw. I also saw big yatchs, rows of boutiques, a group of malaysians praying on the beach & a volleyball competition court. After that, we settled for fish and chips and squids. And for dessert, we had cookies & cream cheesecake and jaffa torte from Mc Cafe. We then got home via taxi as I was freezing already and made friends with the driver, Ridzwan, who happened to be a commerce student in Uni SA. We ended the day, with me making lasagna.. Which I'd rate 6/10.

Rose at 11am again on sunday with one thought on the mind. To study! Which I did. Managed 3 hours of revision before I decided to do shepherd's pie. I have to admit it was an easy recipe which I dearly love up to now. Obviously, I will do it again! We then ate it to a movie on tv, Pearl Harbor. Would you agree, josh hartnett is just HOT!! Especially in the uniform.. Ah......!!

Then today? Well, woke up early as I had to attend a meeting back here in the village. Time flies too fast. The long weekend did not seem long after all. Boohoo

I wished I took photos of my dishes too..:(

Video of the Sunset..

Ayat2 cinta

2008-03-17T20:51:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Mr. Q, I was so drawn to the drama entitled Ayat ayat cinta. At first, when I was introduced to it on youtube, where I was to watch the 1st part of 13, I was dead sure I was just gona view 5 minutes of the 1st clip. But then I was bored, so I continued to the 2nd and then things got interesting and before you know it, I was stuck! Watched the whole 13 clips last night and I never regretted it.

A sypnosis of the story would be that it is about a student, Fahri, studying in Mesir and came across 3 ladies of different backgrounds. One, his neighbour, one whom he met in the bus and another whom he saved. All 3 fell for him for his Islamic-ness. Not sure if there is a word but what I mean by that is patience, kindness, virtue & his principles. Along the way, he got married leaving the other 2 in utter despair. Wana know who he chose? Watch it lah!

I rate the story 11 out of 10 lah seh! Overall, One might think it is just another love story. Some might even not be interested to watch thinking it might be another boring preaches of Islam. But trust me, you watch it and you will learn 2 beautiful wonders of Allah. The real meaning of love & sacrifice AND of Islam.

Keinginan untuk memiliki dan cinta tidak sama
Allah sedang berbicara samaku tentang kesabaran dan keikhlasan

My 2 favorite qoutes of the movie.

It might be 29 degrees tomorrow.. YAY!! 15 days of heat wave is hopefully gona be ova!

brothers back

2008-03-16T12:59:00.000-07:00

Brother just left yester-evening. Obviously it was saddening but like my msn nick says, good byes are part & parcel of life. I am not sure if he had a Fabulous time here; what being the heat and me and the cousin having school. But I am pretty sure he had a good time recce-ing the places. Apart from the city, he visited Glenelg, Port Adelaide, Mount Lofty, Marion Centre, Sky City(station for trains) & the lake behind the university. He has tried the tram and buses here. He has endured the scorching heat and met the wonderful AND scary people of adelaide. He made steak for us, tried my fruit juice, bubur hitam, jemput2, tom yum soup, ayam merah, hungry jacks & mekong thai. Oh and a little bit sidetracked, the cousin did a wonderful macaroni soup last night! yum2! Anyhoos, Overall, I was glad he was here. Well, who would not be? So the whole family has experienced life here in adelaide except for the little one. It seems funny calling her the little one cause she sure ain't that little no more..tsk tsk..You know I love you right beb..:p

Past 2 weeks have been really lazy for me. I have not done anything worthwhile.. Just been running up and down the 2 homes, cooking and grocery shopping. I swear I need a quiet time right now. To keep my pace back to track. Study..!! Is this how married life is gona be like? Damn, its tiring & scary..

Come to think of it, semester is already coming to 3rd week? Fast eh? I only have 9 weeks left before it ends then. How come it suddenly feels so fast? I am gona be in my final year soon..!! like uber yay!!

Easter is coming this weekend. A long weekend holiday for me. Thinking of renting a car and getting a road trip around the outskirts of adelaide.. mm.. where should we go....

he's here!

2008-03-11T17:40:00.000-07:00

2nd week of school now. Holiday yesterday due to Adelaide's cup. It is horse racing kinda thing. Nothing fun.. School seems topsy turvy for now. I feel lost as to what needs to be done and if there were any assignments coming up. Nyehehe.. Shyt, I think I am still undergoing post holiday depression. Tsk tsk.. Right!

Mama Sariah's home, Tawfiq's here. Hidayah & Mohamad here atleast for the next few semesters. Adelaide's at 44 degrees maximum. Atleast that was what I was told by mates here. You think Singapore's hot? Try this for hot! And no kak sya, I am not exaggerating.. Goodbye SUMMER, where the heck is AUTUMN!

Sleep overs at the cousins house are fun especially at night as it is cold and stars can be seen clearly. Also, planes fly pass the house every few minutes. You can see & hear the Qantas, SIA, Virgin Blue & private planes. It is heaven just hearing the rumbles.. ARGH!!

Had a walk with the brother to no where in particular. Just passed by the lake behind the uni and I swear if it was cooling, it would have been wonderful. After which we waited at mekong thai for the other brother who ended class abit later. Had a wonderful meal, all 3 of us. Forced ourselves to finish up everything. BURP!!!

March 21st to 24th are holidays for us. What do we do? hrmm..

Suddenly feels like I do not have any stories to share to write here anymore. It feels like I am writing for the sake of it.

I feel like a dip in the beach! Surfing anyone..?

random...

2008-03-06T20:13:00.000-08:00

Fast facts:
Its not that I do not appreciate the time I have here, it just needs some adjusting to all over again...

I am missing things but I can't put a finger on what it is.
Maybe it is work? Or maybe it is Him?Or isit just being home?
I am going through a bit of pre-depression. I think.
I am tired of not doing anything.
Brother is coming over very soon; sunday morning to be exact.
Maulud is happening this saturday.
I am experiencing 37 degrees here but thankfully can enjoy the aircon from the comforts of my home.
Am looking forward to the next summer vacation; ofcourse counting down very slowly.
Wondering suddenly how the future is gona be like.
Up till now, my lappy shows Singapore Time.
Complaining alot...

Well if you don't like it, go fly kite!

Random Things I am recalling from home:

Study comes 1st, boyfriend laters..
Enjoy whatever time you have in Australia, you might not experience it again..
Local malay girls seem to think that just cause a guy talks & get close to you, he likes you..
Be open but not too open
Isit important..?
3 things to remember; Kewanitaan, Islam, Ibu Bapa..

Back Home?

2008-03-05T14:02:00.000-08:00

Realisation...Do we?
Do we realise that 3 months have already passed?
Do you realise that I am back in Adelaide?
Do we realise that we are getting older?

Or maybe we should ask do we bother to.. I have went back to Singapore and left that lovely place back to Adelaide feeling that I just took this plane to come home the other day only to leave again.

It was the 20th of November '07 when my lovely brother picked me up with his moody face and helped me surprise my mum. Then I remember feeling sad that danish did not want me at first. And then aunts and uncles finally realised I was already home and had a big cook in for me. All the yummy stuffs like "Tulang, Crab, Nasi Ambeng, Sharks Fin" and the family visited all the usual hangouts I always eat at. Like parkway's black beef hotplate with rice, all the junky restaurants, Donuts, Sushi.. Damn it was heaven being able to eat anything and everything at any time you feel like it. I remember being told that I have grown chubby! However, I lost all that in a matter of 3 days cause I fell sick for a month! Yes doctors say it was due to weather change. Thinking back, I wonder how I can grow big here when I don't eat much and small there when I gobble everything up. Are Singaporeans really that stressed up? hur hur

So I have spent my holidays with the family to Malaysia... With the cousins to Bintan to surf... With the colleagues to the Airshow...

Alot of shoppings, alot of sleep, and alot of WORK!

A really fulfilling summer vacation it has been. Learnt alot and lost some. Memories will last forever. So work, I was under the Quality Assurance Department in GASCA. They repair nacelle parts of an aircraft. QA's inspect incoming new parts or the parts which needs to be repaired and tag it as either serviceable, repairable or to be rejected. In this company, I have mixed with everyone of all ages and types. From the very old and wise men down to the gangsters.. However, I do believe these so called gang members do mature after they reach a certain age. From this work experience, I have found great friends & love. Well I would not call it love, I shall say, infatuation? I had a great boss whom I can only thank so much for exposing me to the many other different companies focusing on the different parts of the aircraft. Through him, I was able to widen my network and hopefully get a good job in the near future. Come to think of it, I only have till next year before I graduate.. Wow! Time do fly.. I will always remember these GASCA staffs like Norlinda, Sunny, Uncle Chua, Michelle, Sardali, Hassan, Din, Fahmi, Faizal, Idham, Yazid, Ahmad, Rasheed, Nicole, Jun Wei, Kian Ping, Hui Hong, Shaik, Mustafa, Jumari, Seetoh, Ben Lau and Jeff.

Past 3 months have opened my eyes out to the people who really cares about me. I am after all turning 21. I do have to think of my future too right? Tsk tsk. And the best part is, the mum, dad and aunts do like them too.. That gives me less things to worry about. Its funny how these days, its so easy to talk to them about the type of guy I wana marry. And its so much easy to ask them to come over to the house and let the parents see them. Of course if the guy is brave enough that is.

Its still summer here apparently. Just a touch of wind blowing on the face is heaven to me. I am turning peely and dark very easily. It is so ugly!

Enjoy the pictures!!

KL TRIP

BINTAN TRIP

THE INTERNS

THE AIRSHOW '08

THE FAMILY

THE SEND OFF (1st March '08)!

BACK HOME..

The end...

Riding the waves

2008-01-30T20:52:00.000-08:00

Finally, another entry to be made. I have been so busy and tired that I do not bother checking my mails. And when I do get a chance to check it, I realise, I might have missed alot of the fun activities happening out there. And I only have like what? 3, 4 weeks left here? Oh my!! And I only have like a week of free time before I go back after I end my internship. I hope it will be enough. You wana go out with me? Book me okAY! heheheh

I am all peely and crampy all over. Just came from a whopping jolly trip to Bintan to ride the waves. Yes, I did ride the waves and boy was it good. Went with the cousins and some friends who surf. Got them to teach me how to surf and thinks I am developing a new interest. I might just be surfing now in Australia! Since I have friends who surf there! Like can!! Pictures will be up lah eh..

Life here has been great. I have some last minute cravings though. Like steamboat, dendeng, tulang, sharks fin. And I know b4 I go home, I will wana have all the junky cravings out of my system.

Drove to work today. I just love driving to work. I will reach at 730am and no one is there in the office yet. But you can see at the workshop, full of the mechanics getting ready for the whole day of sweaty work. so much difference. How the higher ups come later but get paid more and those below work so hard yet not as much as the higher ups. Thats why no matter what, always rise all the way to the top!

Been reading these 2 books..

One minute manager

Who stole my cheese?

Read these 2 books for those into business or even for leisure reading. Alot can be learnt. Very good books which I shall recommend for everyone to read!

When a girl feels that this certain guy like her, isit true? I can never trust my instincts so much. I always feel it but I do not know if I should trust it. However, I noticed if I do not trust it, I always seem to lose the guy in the end. It hurts especially if I like him too! Its in my nature, my facial expression, my actions that I do not show if I like you or not. Only HE knows my real feelings. Even if I like a guy, when he is around, I don't look at him, I don't talk to him, I just act like he is not there. I am ReaL good at that. ahah.. My feelings are just easily hidden. Not sure if that is a good thing or not. It might be a disadvantage. But how do I do it then? Sometimes I feel like maybe I am just not ready to be in a relationship. Maybe I just have to wait for the guy who will be patient enough to want me no matter how I treat him. We'll see...

crappy..

2008-01-21T16:00:00.000-08:00

I feel like half a person. A person who lost half her soul. I have no strength to do anything. Not eat, not go out, not do anything. Yet the only reason I can think of is because I am sick. Yes Sick.. A month now. With the simplest disease. Flu, sore throat and fever. Nothing works. No visit to the doctor helped. Isit due to no rest? Is this how life after school is gona be like? Not enough rest? Then may be I should just dream to be a rich tai tai. Tsk, right! Currently on a 2 day mc. Hopefully with rest, I do get better. Infact, I feel better already. Just abit lethargic. We'll see.

4 weeks have passed breezily. Without realising that I only have 5 weeks left here. Paradise. Part of me do not wana go back. Alot of things have happened here. But another part of me knows home is Adelaide. Can you imagine? In a year time, I shall graduate insyaallah as an Electrical & Electronic Engineer. Just a year more. And then what?

Work in Goodrich has been a wonderful experience and fortunately still more to come. I am really grateful to alot of people for making me feel welcomed, loved, and shared new tricks for me to bring back home. 2 people I must really thank most is my dear cousin and her friend whom without their help, might not have been able to give me the opportunity to feel what working in an aviation company has to offer. Right now I am nothing but only more keen to get into this industry. A wise man once said to me. In work, you want only two things.. Money or satisfaction. If you have both, you are blessed. I shall keep this with me when I venture into the working world. Suddenly leaving Goodrich is the last thing on my mind. I know when I leave, alot of memories will be lingering at the back of my mind for a long time. Sadly, as they say, good things must come to an end.

Bintan trip with the paternal cousins this weekend. Hope to have a wonderful and fruitful weekend before I do leave. Atuks birthday party this 2nd of February. I hope everything do goes well. Ameen..

Ibu's leg is currently undergoing a pretty good recovery stage. She is now able to walk with crutches. Slowly, she will be able to walk fully. Insyaallah. Do pray.

Family shirt is kept on hold yet again. Could not get the best price for the shirt production. Being sick and busy with work also plays a part into why nothing is being done yet. Haix.. I am really tired. Why doesn't anyone volunteers to help? All they do is ask how it is coming along. Isn't that what family means? Helping? I have done almost everything. Did I mention I am tired?

How is my Social life? Being in a male dominated company, you ask me if there is social life or not. Ask the right questions. The question is do I want one? Who doesn't but since I am going home soon, what is the point? Make friends? And if something suddenly just spark then what? Only god knows what happens in this life I am facing. I am not shy, just matured..

I am already 20, going 21 soon. Will be celebrating it in Adelaide. Its just too fast..

Resolutions?

2008-01-06T20:34:00.000-08:00

They say the beginning of every year is the start of a new day. And the start of new goals and resolutions. I say, why fork out new ones when the old ones have not even been committed? They ask, what do you plan to achieve this year? I say, I just go with the flow and when they 'advice' me to always set a goal for myself, I say how many of the resolutions you made in the beginning of any year did you manage to accomplish, and they say? Nothing.. And that will be the end of that topic. Its that simple right? So why isit do people still bother asking the year after what one's resolution will be again? It seems so mundane.. I have stopped asking myself what I plan to do for the year since like I can remember. Planning is good but we can do only that much. The rest is just up to HIM. So the next time someone ask you what your new year resolution will be, what will you answer. really..?

Work in the aerospace engineering company under the Quality Assurance(QA) deparment in Goodrich since wednesday has left me lethargic these days. It starts from 8-5.18pm. On top of that, on the first day of work, I was still having my runny nose, bad cough and sexy voice. Up till now.

1st day, after some admin stuffs, I was introduced to an Aunty Norlinda. Under her, I learnt how to check aircraft parts. Things to look out for are rust, corrosion, dents, missing parts etc. After which I learnt how to receive them. I learnt how to do documentation work and filings. I also learnt that every single thing done like having the correct traveller number and what nots is essential for an engineer. Through her, I got to know great people like Sahlan, Ariff, Sami, Sunny, Irene and alot more whom I cannot recall their names. What amazes me is that even after a stressful day at work, where everything had to be done with precision and skills, they can still go home smiling and joking with one another. Great leaders these people. One who I can say are able to work well under pressure. 2nd and 3rd day saw me through as being one of the most busy internship job I have ever encountered. My mentor, let me do things which she normally does. Having her trust me to do what only a qualified engineer can do meant a lot to me such that I was strongly wanting to only prove my best to her. Her colleagues which saw me doing the job even said, "pandai dia". Thank you..Next week, I will be attached to a technician whom I will call Ayah Dali. Which means I will be working in Cell A where I will be checking the more bigger aircraft parts. WeeHA!! Though I must say, I am abit scared.

Idus will be going to camp this tuesday. Good Luck!! See you in 2009 okay!!

5th january marks the 54th anniversary for the paternal grandparents. HAppy AnniversarY!!

bla bla

2007-12-25T00:00:00.000-08:00

I can only wonder how long since I last updated. So sorry to my avid readers but because of the stupid internet connection on my lappy, I tend to get lazy to wana update as the computer I am using now is uber slow. But I guess today, I shall make an exception. Just because...

Alot has been happening all this time I have been MIA. Up to the point where I cannot remember clearly the sequence of events which took place. Therefore, I shall skip here and there with my story. Lets start with my KL trip.

I was away with the family and the cuxins to KL for a 4d3n trip. What happened then? Shopping and shopping and more shopping. Poor mummy still had a cast on her left foot so we took turns pushing her in her "car" around. Got to eat our MUHIBBAH and then BANGSAR. Bliss.. Was supposed to buy myself a white baju kurong but in the end, the sis got it instead. Lucky I had a white one at home, so I wore that for Raya Haj. Had fun rides and shouts at times square. Went to Sunway Shopping Mall too and saw Sunway Lagoon with a new surroundings. I can only wonder how it looks inside. I am pretty sure, they have all the better facilities and new rides to play. The hotel? I shall recommend no one to go there. Ever. Period! Uber stinky staff and service and FOOD! Its Hotel Grand Continental. DUN GO if you wana have a great accomodation to stay in after a days pleasure.

Then came Raya Haj. It took place on 20th of December. After missing the 1st important event on the Muslim calendar, this one which usually felt like a boring thing suddenly became much more meaningful. No wonder they say, you always miss the things once you don't have it. And we wore white! Too bad no pictures taken! Sad...

Then christmas? Mm.. It wasnt so big lah. We had only some cooking done. Jenganan, Ikan asam pedas and some other cemil-cemilan. And then we went out with the baby danish to shopping mall and then to one of the uncles house. He got so tired, he slept like a log after. I swear I love him. No boyfriend have ever been this important yet.

Work. I am starting soon on 2nd jan! Weee!! Where? At goodrich.. Changi south there. It is an aerospace industry. Like uber weeee!!

Okay dats it. If you want pics, You gota wait till I am super bored and free like today again. Toodles...

rants

2007-12-09T15:30:00.000-08:00

So what adventures did I lead this week..? Early this week was out with the 2 kentals. What started out as an okay trip became a fun one with secrets shared in the end. I just lOve exploring new places with different group of people. Different people different type of ways in how they communicate with you. I shall not bore you about what I mean about this. Only I shall understand anyways. I shall just share with you with the pictures.

After which tuesdays and wednesdays was left for time out with the parents. Just unfortunate that mummy has a fractured leg, otherwise, I would love to go shopping lah seh! Thursdays was spent at Pulau Tekong. Yea, sent a cuxxie of mine of to be trained to save the country. Never did I imagine the army camp to be like a resort lah seh! Like seriously! I must say even though they have to go throught streinous training, when they get back to rest, they get pampered! They have their own pool table, comfortable beds! Entertainments like concerts and Nice food too! Like what the heck lah kan!? And the guys there, they look at you like they wana devour you! OKay maybe that is abit exaggerating but they did look like that! ahaha.. Bald and staring like they have never seen girls in their life. muahahah.. And then Fridays was out driving around to places which I cannot remember. I tend to drive anywhere I feel like it when I am alone. It is actually me being lost, but I will tell my myself, No I am infact just exploring the home country.

It has been raining koalas and kangaroos here. Non-stop! But I am loving it. Back at home in adelaide, it drizzles only like for 2 minutes tops and then thats it. No wonder they suffer drought. Driving in the heavy rain is superb! Especially when the water splash up high at the side. Like WEE!! And music blasting off! wow! heaven..

Saturday was kenduri for the cousin who is goin haj. Came late. oops.. Oh well, the food is nice as always. Singapore food , where can not nice?Tshirt is on the way too. Just need to get orders now. Well and a little bit of touch up for the design. So leceh!

And today? Just sent brother to Yishun. Woke up at 930am just to peel of 10kg of cockles to be eaten by yours truly. YUM!! Oh not forgetting I had sambal ketam and rendang! Burp! Have tried munchy's and also am gona try ramen ten soon. Also some place named caserol. Not sure how its spelt though. And and siam Kitchen.

Will be leaving for KL on sunday and was told I have to try the "J-something". It is a donut shop. Yes yes I know, I always talk about food. What else can I do lah right? Holiday is always about eating!

The big family has been asking me if I have a certain someone and wonders if I am gona stay in Australia and get married there. Having a certain someone, maybe.. but...Like isn't it too early for marriage? I am only 20. So young you know!!

Labels:There is BBQ today.. Do I wana go? Don't feel like it, raining lah seh! haix

the wedding..

2007-12-03T00:49:00.000-08:00

I do not seem to be satisfied with anything. Is that how humans are really made out to be? One good example concerning me now is how I used to be small sized and I did not like people mentioning that I am on a diet when they don't see me eat, I mean they did not see me eat what..! I eat alot okay. And now that I am big, I do not like people jestering me saying I eat so much now. Ahaks, gosh. Come to think of it, I do seem to eat alot now. Damn.. I do not want to blame myself though.. Like who does right? Blame themselves that is..Can I blame adelaide? hehe..

Anyhoos, this weekend has been jam packed with one of the cousin's wedding. I just love the atmosphere of weddings. All the cousins together with their best traditional clothes on. Cam-whoring, crap talking, great food, kompangs and what nots.

Labels: it is already december. Like OMG! Too fast time flies...
Just came back from an outing with the boyfriend and the girlfriend.. *winks*

Breeks and seoul

2007-11-28T00:27:00.000-08:00

Eat Eat Eat!

That's the only thing I have been busy doing these days.

People have been telling me I have chubby cheeks now and yet I am still not controlling my eating.

Breeks at Airport Terminal 2

Then the family went to Isetan to get each of us a pair of crocs.. Love you mummy! thanks!!From left to right, Daddy, Sister, Me.. Bro already has one orange one.. Mummy? Well she says wait till she can walk again.. heheh.. Funky!!

Sis was screaming out of shock last night when I Boo-ed her when she came out of the toilet. And to think she was just discussing with the parents on what time to pick me up today. Muahahah

Browsed through DaniSh old photos and I found these.. Just felt like sharing it all over again. I just miss how we both used to be so damn close.. It just feels different somehow now. Maybe its better this way. Then when I leave again, it won't be so difficult. I promise not to get close to aqilah too. It will be too hard then.. *Hearts in pain*.

Labels: Its already been a week. My goodness, damn fast lah seh!

My grades
2007 Semester 2

Electric Energy Systems 65 C

Eng Comm ESL/EAL 73 C

Prac Elec & Elect Des III Pt 1 CN

Proj Manag for Electrical Eng 74 C

Signals and Systems 66 C

I could have gotten myself 2 DISTiNCTIONs (75 is distinction)! ARGH!!! So frustrating! This is so gona affect my GPA. SHYT!

home

2007-11-23T11:23:00.000-08:00

I wasn't able to sleep the day before. I did not know if it was excitement or more nervousness that I might forget something. Plus the risk that I am taking, going home without knowing the results yet. I am just praying very hard that I do not fail any module for the semester. Insyaallah. So did the bedsheet laundry the night before at about 12am Adelaide time and thus was unable to have the comfy bed to sleep on. Was planning on sleeping on the couch in the living room when kumari, one of my housemates saw me outside and lended me her comforter to act as a bedsheet in my room. Thus with the couch seat as my head pillow and my bear2 as my bantal busuk, I slept up till about 6am for my morning prayers. Intended to sleep back But the stomach was simply churning away. No surprise there. It was just hours away..

Did some last minute checking around the whole room. Off-ed all the electricity plugs, said the goodbyes with the housemates and off I went to the lounge area. Met up with the 2 close-st friends who so nicely wanted to send yours truly off. Shall not be seeing them again the next semester. Will be different I guess having this feeling that at that apartment 89, you guys ain't there. But life has to move on. Glad for meeting you guys when I had the chance. A funny thing happened at the airport. Upon arrival, found out my luggage was 25kilos. Thank goodness, no need to pay extra baggage. Was inside for nearly an hour when me and kel checked my air ticket. We read boarding time 1255pm. And we both got shocked. We were so stupid to think that the plane left me already. I ran all the way in and then realised it says BOARDING TIME. I was laughing to myself all the way walking to the plane. Like seriously! Kel all your fault lah okAY! Mulut celupah lah seh! *cause he was sort of pissed off I was going home earlier and so he said things like hope you miss the plane yada3. *

In the plane was a damn cosy ride. There was hardly passengers on the flight. Around me was ample empty seats. I was able to seat anywhere I like which was the most funky part. Watched 3 movies on the plane, Qantas. Hairspray, no reservations and 1408! The food was yummy too! The steward and stewardess? hmmm.......

Seeing my brother after so long gave me so much excitement! Who? Yes its you idus.. or ingus.. heheh.. But what was so sickening was that, when I smiled so widely seeing him, he said "what time uh?". Cause I was suppose to reach at 630pm but I left the terminal only by 7pm. Like you can't blame me lah seh. Blame the plane lah! hahah.. Such a good welcome I had lah kan!? But I shall not say more since you were so nice to pick me up and help me with THE PLAN! heheh.. We then went to eat at Langgar BEDOK or what some may call Bedok Corner! ARGH! heaven! Seeing all those familiar asian faces and all the food you can eat(halal i mean) is so delicious! We ordered Ikan bakar and satay! Then went home..

Idus rang the bell. The maid opened the door. The mum was on the phone with the dad. Idus was lost for words. AIYAH! one two three, SURPRISE!!!!!!!!! The mother jumped back abit and suddenly said, AYAH, YAYA BALIK!! (Yaya come home!) Damn, that was not the plan! Now daddy knows I am home. The plan to surprise the dad the next day when he comes back from hongkong was ruined! But it was still a great effort uh. Atleast I managed to make people there then surprised, even the brother. Still got the sister and the paternal grandma who will be coming home on sunday from malaysia to surprise. Suddenly some aunts and uncles was called up by the aunty though I mentioned not to. Oh well, nothing new lah.. heheh.. Slept late that day, spending time talking to the mother and the brother.

Picked up daddy at the airport then and what a coincidence, he came out at the same belt and terminal I came out from the day before. haha.

Well, what have I been doing here past 2 days of my stay here? I met DANISH ofcourse! I was so sad when he didn't want me at first. But that lasted for only an hour. Thank God. He then became so close to me and now we are inseperable all over again. Makes me wonder how am I gona leave again later? This is so not an easy process. Coming home and leaving all over again. Its like breaking up only worse! I just love it here lah..

Things here new for me? Its HOT! Like sweaty hot unlike adelaide where its hot but you don't sweat. Erm food is NICE and CHEAP! Loved Ones are here. I get to drive! I feel like I am on a holiday more instead of being home. Lucky I have the car, or else I will not know what to do sitting around at home all day. Tv shows are so boring too..hmm... I just want the time to go slowly this time. Experiencing the days slowly and wonderfully.

Bliss..

Aren't they just adorable?
And now? I am just listening to the music in the sister's room, with the aircon blasting on!

Labels: Got to eat my popeye, Wak Nakem, Langgar Bedok.

Still got my seoul garden, all the junky food, swensons, lau pa sat and ramen ten. Oh yea!!

17th November '07

2007-11-18T11:00:00.000-08:00

To sum the BBQ with one word. Wicked!
Tiring but fun is what I will say about the happening day yesterday. Fun as we all made new friends. I was glad that people did not feel awkward and did not feel left out. Unlike back at home, people here tend to be very open and friendly. Strangers at first sight then friends upon leaving. I just love that kinda thing.

I would like to take this opportunity to welcome the new friends and thank the old ones for helping out in any way they could have. It was a success only because you guys were they to support it.

Had a movie night after the BBQ and then slept the whole night through after. Well that's all updates you guys gona get for now. Counting down days to home. How many more days though eh? *counting fingers* Hoo Yah!!

erm

2007-11-16T21:38:00.000-08:00

Hi Hidayah,

We are currently processing this and waivering the fee and will be in touch with you by Friday COB.

Kind regards,

Hien Tran

Telesales Service Team
STA Travel

YEA!!! I won!
I am so happy can..?
A good start to a new week. woohoo!

Preparing for tomorrows BBQ.
We got chinese dumplings, the normal chicken with bean sauce, thai green sauce and black pepper sauce, Cheng Teng, Ice cream, Chocolates, Bottles of soft drinks, Chips. I am so happy when I cook. Loving it..

Well till I see you..

thoughts

2007-11-14T15:45:00.000-08:00

Temperature today is so much better. Windy though hot.

Spent the day shopping for goodies for the people back at home. I swear I love shopping! I thought it would be so much less fun to shop with guys but it proved to be wrong. Like I went to Tea Tree Plaza today with 2 of my classmates; both guys. They wanted to get stuffs for their gf's back at their respective hometown with me as their advisor. Muahaha. It was so fun!! But it was partly tiring as I had to model for them and all. And the funny thing is I had a fair share of wearing either a bigger size or a tad smaller size to fit their gf's sizes. So funky! I just love today. In the end I just got some chocolates for myself. And one of them is called chocolate flavored with chilli. Have you ever heard such a thing? Trust OZ to come up with one. sheesh..

I have to buy nougats. Swear it is so expensive lah. Why isit everytime someone goes to OZ, the family orders nougat of all the other things, I can only wonder.

I finally conclude that rumours about those singaporeans studying in australia do not stress out is officially a skank. Like people here are undergoing depression lah seh. I have friends who broke down. Not forgetting some who quit half way. Some who just gave up and went hung over for 2 whole nights. Some who was actually happy when they failed their test. And some post graduates actually broke down as their work load is taking its toll on them. Seriously whoever started the rumour ought to be checking their brains.

Been so bored at nights, I spent my time streaming on youtube or watching tv series. More appropriately, I have been spending time watching THE OC again. I so love summer! Hot shyt stuff. And tomorrow is the finals for so you think you can dance. And sunday is the finale for australian idol. YAY!! bz bz..

BBQ will be goin on as per normal on saturday. Gr8! So not looking forward to it. Just because.. Haha..

New words

Wicked
no worries
-ish
NOiiiii
whey?

Labels: I am gona miss you kak sha.. Shall not say no more.

Habis!

2007-11-13T15:41:00.000-08:00

Finish!

Habis!

Bo liao!

I am finally free!!

One semester done..

I am finally sweating shyt here. Not that that is a gr8 thing. It is currently 37 degrees. Like seriously..? It doesn't help that it is humid & friggin dry here. Atleast back home its heat but moisturising. Argh! And my skin is peeling of lah can!? Super ugly.. Going out is pretty much a forceful torture.

Now that school is over. I have no idea what to do with the time I have here. And I have problems with my plane ticket. Cause of a stupid wrongly spelt name which by the way is just a letter, I have to fork out a huge sum of 200 AUD. Which part of I am a student and I have a tight arse budget didn't they get?! This is so daylight robbery lah seh!

Daddy is going to Hongkong and sis is goin to Malaysia yet again on the 19th. Like so lucky. And I will be goin home end of this month. Like yay! Holidays' for me too! And mum and dad has booked us a hotel in KL in december. Like double uber yay! I am so missing the wheels right now I can hardly wait. Not forgetting getting to meet all the loved ones again. The favourite cousins and the much awaited DANISH! Not forgetting also the lovable friends.

Labels: Kak sya.. I have to be drama lah seh.. Kalo tak entry dia is like super mendaks..No one will bother reading.

Kak Ame.. Thanks for the quite frequent messages and gifts on facebook and blog. Just so you know this little things you did made me go through the days here alone the first few months. Like seriously.. Thanks..

mm

2007-11-09T21:13:00.000-08:00

The exhiliration of having 2 papers finally over is just SoOo amazing! Like after a long week and a few more days, I had my first paper and the second just few hours before. And boy am I happy with my hard work. Well not for the 1st paper, I expected better, but I am cool with it. I have learnt that in a way, don't expect too much so you don't end up that much with disappointment. One paper left on tuesday. Gave myself a break today and soon I am on my way on that plane to be at a place where I was first brought to life into this facing-a-global-crisis world.

Soon, I am gona have to think about what I need to get for the important people back home. It would be so much easier to just get them to tell me what they want and I try as hard as I can to get it. And then I get people who tell me that I don't have to worry. They do not expect anything. But you know how they just tell that and it sort of does not help. Infact it instills a guilty conscience in me to actually make me have to get them something. On top of that, these people gave me $ when I left. I have been brought up well enough to know that it is the only right thing to do something in return. argh! This is so difficult!

I feel like getting highlights man. Like seriously. Like maybe, brunette color. Or turqoise! like seriously! You know just for the fun of it. I just feel so.. liberated! muahaha..
I seriously feel I am so made out for this studying abroad thingy. I am loving it baby!

And I seriously need to lose weight. Awh.. shucks!

Labels: I feel like I am having lesser and lesser things to talk about on my blog. Maybe it is time I just delete this thing. I have to stop some time.. Right? Right....

my secret

2007-11-06T10:01:00.000-08:00

I am gona let you in on my secret.

I am an aneroxic.

I am no longer a virgin.

I am a single parent.

I am hating life.

I am dirty.

I am lonely.

I am pyschopathic.

I am in need of the light at the other end.

I am sick with them.

I am sick with you.

I let you in on my secret.

Will you do the same too?

Imagine one day some of your close friend(s) wrote that. Would you

Take it as a joke
Call the police, it seems serious
Call the family and see what they would do about it.

I am so bored right now..2 days to first paper. I feel prepared but I am not sure if I will be then. I was told it was gona be cold. Cold means only one thing. Hard to concentrate. Your energy is being wasted on keeping yourself warm. I will have to wear more layers but even then it seldom helps.

This day next week, is the last day of the semester. I cannot wait! Yee hAW!

Labels: Drinking strawberry juice blended by a housemate. Burpp!

3's a crowd

2007-11-03T23:00:00.000-07:00

So it is true

It happens in 3s

1st on thursday night,

then on friday night

and finally this saturday morning

The death of 3 people consecutively

One a malay teacher

One a close friend

And then a friend who died in his sleep

Lets pray for them

Bismillah Hil rahman Nir rahhim.

Shyt, I am friggin' shaken up by this. And I am on my way home soon. Goes to show it can happen to anyone, anytime.

MasyaAllah

end of the road..

2007-11-03T11:04:00.000-07:00

It is gona start very soon. But how I wish it was sooner. The sooner you take it, the faster it gets done.

Every single questions have been tried. Or atleast so I thought. The moment you feel confident that you are finally ready to take the final paper, new questions pop out and your confidence level deteriorate. But then that would only mean you weren't ready in the 1st place right? The questions are pretty much the same. Only different numericals, different formulas to use; fourier, laplace or z-tranform. You start feeling jittery when you realise I know this but somehow I forgot how to do it. Oh well, I am just gona have to rely on HIM to help me out in times of need. Let us pray...

When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot, and hang on

It has been raining non-stop this week. Wait, it has not been raining, Call it drizzling. And that is so much worse cause it doesn't seem to stop. And all your plans to go out just falters. And then to make matters more interesting, the exam hall is 30 minutes walking distance from the house. And if it drizzles, how do you expect to reach there dry and comfy? I do not wana take the bus, as it is obvious with thousands of other candidates on the bus to go to the exam hall, it is bound to be full and you will surely be late if you wait for the next bus which usually comes in 25 minutes. Yes the bus here have friggin' time slots unlike back at home which comes every 5 minutes. So How? haiyo...

Just so everyone knows, it is nov 27th.

Home sweet heavenly home.

Labels: I am said to have grown fat! Oh greeaaATt!! *roll eyes*

And it is 1:40 pm here.

Read as I read

2007-10-31T10:26:00.000-07:00

1st paper is only 8 days away. You might think there is still so much time. I say, time is a-waisting.

How do you tell yourself to sit on those butt cheek of yours and start revising when you know you have to but don't intend to?

Working under pressure is what I do best yet I always knew if I worked harder b3fore the due date, I am sure to do better. But then enters my friend, laziness. Lazy has always been a part of my 20 years of happy, sad, angry and 'all sorts of emotions you can think of' life. Why isit so hard to get rid of this miss lazy I can only wonder. How do the smart ass people do it? They are humans too. How do they actually spend their time seating and really studying and get all those much deserving distinctions!? I hate it when at the the end of the day, I will get my result slip and tell myself that if only I tried that much harder! And if you realise, I am doing the same things over again. Reminding myself, I just need to start with the revision now and I will be able to get my distinction. Yet I will still not budge. I will however, be so much more active in doing all the unnecessary chores like cooking, reading, tv, sleeping, laundry. Like who does all these things when we are not under pressure? But I had to do it when I really should just be studying. Guess thats where miss stubborn comes into the picture. Why does it have to be like this. humph..

Just ended the book that I was so engrossed in for the past few days. Craving for sleep is the title by Jeffrey Deaver. It is such a great book with a twist in the end. It is a much recommended book for those who are into murder and psychopaths. About how secrets of the past somehow will soon come to haunt you. How secrets are always meant to be broken one day no matter how hard you try to keep them. I realise those people we call crazy may not be as crazy as we make them out to be. We call them crazy only because we do not seem to understand what they are trying to say or point out or explain. Infact, ever wonder if we might actually be the crazy ones? Running after wealth, wanting to be the top, wasting a great scenery and much awaited family time cause of having to rush of to work or do an errand. While they, they get to enjoy the scenery created by HIM and observe the real happenings of the world in that small cubicle of theirs. Alone and peaceful. They might actually be the only sane ones on earth.

A good book is all I can say.

Saw IV was enjoyed by yours truly last night with the company of 2 of my other housemates. It was bloody, gruesome but taught a great lesson. To cherish your life and to only like but not be obsessed with the things around you. For your obsession can only but kill you. Wondering now why I never really did get around to watch the 1st 3 series of it.

Weather here has been pretty much cold and it was suppose to be spring. I do not even see the much anticipated blooms anywhere except for the rare few. Will I like it back in Singapore where I will be sweating profusely every minute. I can only remember how much I miss those cheap and good food. How those food are easily available and can be eaten as it is halal. The night life. But weather. Will I miss adelaide's dry but never gona sweat weather? When will decisions ever stop?

Day light saving

2007-10-27T20:49:00.000-07:00

Ended the semester with a girl night out with the housemates. Heart you people loads lah can! Random pics.. I look so good in yellow lah ryt? Muahahah! All around the school aka city..

Thats outside the international student centre. And the lake.. where 2 ducks are always found together.

The elder hall and the state museum library

Seriously no idea why we took this pic. Just a nice setting at the back

The 4 babes at RED ROCK! Each with their own order, Yum!

That's my school at night. Ain't it bootiful!?

That's how I ended the day. In the toilet...

5 major things happening!

Halloween end of october
Friggin' daylight saving tonight at midnyt! Meaning instead of an hour difference from singapore, now its 2!!
Exams starting soon
Its raining cat and dogs right now!! Like I love the rain. The pitter patter on the windows. Yee HAW!
Watching saw IV on tuesday! WEEEE!!

I seriously need to start studying. Or I won't go home happy:(

The days I grew black eyes...

2007-10-24T22:08:00.000-07:00

Because of this frigging essay, I did not get my beauty sleep for the weekend. I am glad that I took all those time though. I jolly well did a gr8 job on both the essay and presentation. Pray for my distinction people. Ameen....

Poor communities like Bangladesh face problems like poverty and frequent natural calamities resulting in the loss of homes. According to Singleton (2003), "poverty is a lack of wealth and the denial of various choices and opportunities basic to human development". Engineers play a major in designing sustainable housing in poor communities in difficult climates. In order to improve sustainable housing, the use of available natural resources and appropriate technology is essential. This paper explores three significant issues associated with sustainable housing in poor communities in difficult climates and the role engineering innovations play in improving such sustainable housing in the future. The three issues which will be discussed are the insufficient supply of fresh drinking water, the depletion of building materials and finally, the lack of fuel.

Water is a daily necessity in our everyday lives. It is very important such that in some areas where severe drought occurs, water supply was cut from neighbouring countries as the water was not enough. In Bangladesh, there is an increase in the number of people (from 65 million people in 1998 to 90 million people in 2000) who were affected by arsenic toxins due to collecting water from polluted tube wells (Islam 2000 cited in Mclean & Moore 2005). Water-related disease resulted in the death of a child every eight seconds (Islamic Relief 2004 cited in Mclean & Moore 2005). A simple solution to these problems can be storing natural water. The most well-known suitable technology used in Kenya was concrete jars, used as storage tanks to collect rain water (Pfafflin & Ziegler). However, water stored in the tanks might not be drinkable after being kept for a long time. This can be solved by using a simple filter in the tanks or by installing inexpensive hand pumps for the poor communities. Pipes can then be built from the tank leading to the houses. According to Singleton (2003), this promotes time and energy saving for the women and young girls in South Africa from having to collect water from the wells which is usually located very far away. Another useful method is rainwater harvesting. Rainwater harvesting allows the community to have access to potable water and sanitation. However, suitable materials are needed to build the roofs in order to obtain clean water. If the material used is inappropriate, water can be dirtied or poisoned once it comes in contact with basic chemical substance which is not easily disposable from such surfaces (DTU, 1998, 2001 cited in Mclean and Moore 2005). Thus, with appropriate materials and technology, cleaner water will be supplied to houses and the risk of water-related illnesses like malaria and cholera can be avoided.

Bamboo, together with reed, palm leaf and earth are common materials used to build a Bangladeshi house (Muktadir and Hassan 1985 cited in Mclean & Moore 2005). Unfortunately, based on Nurazzaman (2004), these materials are becoming rare. This is manifested in the drastic rise in price (SKAT 1991 cited in Mclean and Moore 2005). Fortunately, engineering has come up with ideas to build homes using alternative materials. Johannesburg is a good example of a city in South Africa using alternative materials. It has endorsed an eco-housing policy where houses are built out of locally available renewable resources. Burnett (2007) claims that by using a technique called cobbing, "thick mud walls can be created from mixing sand, clay, earth and water". Cob is known to be long-lasting as seen in cob houses in England. It is beneficial as it is termite resistant and acts as an insulator trapping heat in winter and is cooling in summer. Another alternative material includes sand lime which can be burnt to produce building lime from the "waste from the shell fishing and Ger farming industries" (Mclean & Moore 2005). After which, locally available sand is added to create lime mortar which can be used to design the walls of houses. This discussion shows that alternative renewable resources, which can be found locally, can be used instead of the normal building materials which are being depleted to build more durable houses. Thus saving cost for the poor communities.

Bangladesh's main energy sources are biomass and natural gas which uses roughly about 73% of the country's main power supply (World Bank 1998 cited in Islam, S and Islam, M 2005). They are mostly used for cooking, lighting and in small rural industries. Usually, kerosene light is used, restricting the Bangladeshi people's night activities and evening hours(Barua 1998). Barua (1998) also added that besides contributing to pollution, these resources are slowly diminishing. However, in June 1996, Grameen Shakti, one of the main branches of Grameen Bank, was formed to focus on promoting the use of solar energy. The heat from solar energy can be used for cooking (Poppen and Weiler 2002 cited in Mclean & Moore 2005) and can also generate electricity allowing houses to be better equipped with brighter lighting at night prolonging the night activities and working hours. It also enhances the safety of women and children at night. More income can also be generated as wives are able to help out through simple activities like basket weaving, sewing and baking pastries at night which can be sold the next day. Also, according to Barua (1998), villagers in Nabinagar, a rural area in India, are now able to be acquainted with the rest of the world by phone services run by solar system. Solar energy can also be used to produce building materials like "roof tiles, clay pipes and other domestic objects by burning natural resources available like sand, seashells and clay in a solar kiln" (Mclean & Moore 2005). These materials make up the parts of rainwater harvesting. Solar energy is therefore the cheapest, most affordable method and can be used for many purposes as mentioned and is ideal for the poor communities.

In conclusion, engineering innovation certainly plays an important role in improving sustainable housing in the future. This paper has shown that with proper technology and materials, clean water can be obtained and therefore lessening the risk of water related illnesses. The use of alternative building materials which can be sourced locally can also be explored and used to build more durable houses. By using natural renewable resources, non-renewable resources like bamboo will not be diminished. Lastly, the lives of the Bangladeshi’s have improved since the use of solar power. The benefits are a better working environment and longer working hours. This generates more income and enhances the safety and the welfare of the women and children at night. In all of these ways, engineering and innovation have helped to tackle the problems faced by the communities due to poverty and difficult climate.
(1100 words)

References
Barua, D C 1998, ' Energy's Role in the Rural Income Generation: The Grameen Strategy', Presented at Village 98 Scaling Up Electricity Access for Sustainable Rural Development, Washington, D.C., 6 October - 8 October, pp.1-9. Accessed 17 October, 2007,
http://www.nrel.gov/villagepower/vpconference/vp98/wpromote/dipall.pdf

Burnett, P 2007 ' Eco-friendly 'green' housing bumps up against red tape', Science in Africa, March. Accessed 18 October, 2007.
http://www.scienceinafrica.co.za/2007/march/greenhouse.htm

Islam, S and Islam, M 2005, 'Status of Renewable Energy Technologies in Bangladesh', ISESCO Science and Technology Vision, May, vol.1, no 1, pp.51-60. Accessed 19 October, 2007,
http://www.isesco.org.ma/ISESCO_Technology_Vision/NUM01/A.K.M.%20Sadrul%20Islam/A.K.M.%20Sadrul%20Islam.pdf

Mclean, S N and Moore, D R 2005, ' A mitigation strategy for the natural disaster of poverty in Bangladesh', Journal of Disaster Prevention and Management, vol. 14, no 2, pp. 223-232.
Pfafflin,R J and Ziegler, N E 1998, Encyclopedia of Environmental Science and Engineering 4th edn, vol. 2 M-Z, Gordon and Breach Science Publishers, USA.

Singleton, D 2003, 'Poverty alleviation: the role of the engineer [electronic resource]' Arup Journal, vol.38, no 1 (2003) pp.3-9.

Labels: It rained damn heavy on tuesday.. Never did it rain HEAVY here..

Semester is ending!!!

Exam.. here we go again...

Home sweet home.. Bliss!

Hari Raya In Adelaide

2007-10-16T19:17:00.000-07:00

Lets walk you through my raya here....I must admit, though it ain't as exciting as back in Singapore, I had to make the best of what I had right? I shall give this year a 7/10. At least I learnt independence and cooking and hosting and friendship! See so much learnt...

The day before raya. The indian girls came over with their saris from the temple. No point missing the opportunity to take traditional photos with them.. Multi cultural society mah..

Then woke up at 9am next day to get ready to cook for the open house on 14th October '07 at the University Of Adelaide Village Apartment 79.

The 1st dish prepared by yours truly. Bubur Rock Melon. Yum2!

I was still bathing when the 1st group of people came over. Shikin(Singaporean) and Zairina(Malaysian). So malu leh. Was not even ready. They only got to taste my dessert. Haix. But I was invited to shikin house. And I heard her husband is a good cook! Weee!!! I want lah can!

After which the next 2 groups came. Malaysian friends whom I met through pipi. Do you know they have never eaten bubur honey dew b4? They loved mine lah seh! Nice people. These are the ones that I spent the last day of ramadhan with. I heart you guys!

And as they left.. stomach started rumbling.. I had to eat!

So in we stuffed ourselves. We had rice, curry chicken, mi goreng, keropok, jelly gula melaka, green curry vege and tempeh goreng. Oh yea oh yea!

Kumari feeling verrryyyy Hungreh!! See no smiling at all! ahaks.. You know I love you right girl. ahaks..

Then suddenly received a call from Azman. He was already downstairs. Lucky we finished eating. So I went down to pick him and his brother up to my apartment. And they brought kuah lodeh, sambal goreng and serondeng! Weeeee!!! thank you so much you 2! It was good enough that we got to taste your cookings. burp!!!

I like this photos. There are china people, indian, malaysian, singaporeans! Fun fun fun!

Then at night, suddenly had a call for jemput2. Yes I know how to make them! How cool is that!? But thanks to these things up there, I got myself scarred for life! Well I hope not lah but my oh-so-beautiful arm now has this ugly looking birthmark that was never supposed to be there. It doesn't help that I am fair. Boo Hoo..

Oh well, all in all , it was a perfect day. Tired host but perfect day. Could not have done it without the help of these 2 tho. Thank You sooo mUch muchos!!

21st, 24th, 28th brings more Eid Mubarak Festivities. One of them will be with uncle tomok again. Did I mention his house is damn NICE! Overlooking the freaking sea! Sunset is WONDERFUL!! I want lah!! He has just inspired me to migrate to Australia. Thanks for making the final decision for me.!!!

5 weeks left to home sweet home.. Tell me who is excited.. Put up your hands with me!!

Last day of Ramadhan

2007-10-12T21:34:00.000-07:00

Crazy week it has been. Been having so many feelings. One of happyness and sorrow. Stayed up in school till 7pm last night with the australians with the focus to do our lab project only to be distracted by facebook. Seriously, doing all the quizzes people do, never did I know can crack us all up. In the end, we managed to do one experiment lasting us 2 hours. Like didn't even progress lah. But that was the night when my team and I like finally bonded. Why do peole always find the connection when things come to a near end? I can only wonder.

Today started with research on my essay paper. Then went to school. It was freezing today at 10 degrees. On top of that, it was windy and drizzling. You can imagine how icy I felt waiting for the bus at the bus stop for more than 15 minutes. To make it worse, the bus stop is located infront of this office where they counsel troubled families. This white guy came out and sang its raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. Yada2. I swear he was trying to get my attention. I was already alone and freezing, I was scared.. Luckily, another girl came and sat beside me. He shut up the whole time after. And then when I came home from school, this group of drunks I should say was running behind me and pushing each other. And suddenly all 3 of them fell and started laughing. AT that point, I was thinking, why am I experiencing weird things today? I just quickly paced off as fast as my legs could carry me. I had to get ready for iftar at the suburbs with the malaysians.

630pm. 3 minutes too late to break fast! I felt it this time. The sorrow that it has finally ended. Reached the house in the suburbs and about 10 of them were already eating. Introduced ourselves to one another. Made alot of good friends. We had like, kueh bahulu, porridge, oranges, bubur pisang(pengat), salad, air cincau, fried prawns, cakes, bubur hitam, banana cake, macaroni cheese, jelly. That's what I like about here. Strangers just go to each other's house and before you know it, you are friends. Everyone is welcome in everyone's lives. Then, we prayed maghrib and then had our takbir. When we read the takbir verses, it was so peaceful. The feeling that it was already raya was not mentioned but more coversations on how was our ramadhan? What did we do? What did we achieve? Did we get to fast full? It is so different from back at home. In Singapore, even before ramadhan ends, we are already discussing what to wear, when do we clean the house, what do you want to cook. I really felt the meaning of raya this year. We shared stories of what we knew what Hari Raya AidilFitri meant. We shared stories of why people before celebrated Hari Raya. Seriously, the atmosphere was totally different but enlightening. In a way I am happy I met this people. They opened the meaning of Raya to me in a different light.
After which we takbir all over again after praying Ishak as one big group. I so love it lah can.

Tomorrow is the start of the new month, Syawal. Alhamdulillah I manage to puasa full this year. Ameen. I just found out that apparently for puasa enam, we are not supposed to bayar our hutang together with the puasa enam. We are supposed to bayar hutang dahulu and then puasa enam. Well since I don't have to pay any back, I jolly well will just fast for another 6 days soon. Alhamdulillah!

Will be meeting Uncle Tomok at about 845 am tomorrow to Adelaide Mosque for sembahyang raya. Hope it turns out okay. I mean I ain't close to him lah kan..

To everyone reading this, Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Dan Batin. Kalau dayah ada silap kata, tolong maafkan. Tolong halalkan makan minum. Moga panjang umur untuk ramadhan yang kehadapan.

Loves

2007-10-10T22:55:00.000-07:00

No idea what the occasion was but one of my sister's called today! Well it was more her husband I was talking to but I guess that is the same as talking to her right? Heard her laughter in the background. That should count.. Updated each other on our lives. Both newbies to Australia. One in Perth (West), the other in Adelaide(South). So love them for still calling me! But kak sya, I am so sadded lah you forget me.. Just cause I am in Australia too does not mean you don't get me anything lah. Sadded...:( Ahaks..

The sister is making Tarts & did cakes and kueh cornflakes for the upcoming festive season. Like uber semangat lah can!? I wish I had the time to do all that too! I WANT!! Well anyhoos, I have my fair share of the festive feeling too! I am gona do some banana fritters together with jemput jemput. On top of that, I am gona add tahu goreng with that. And and Bubur Pulut Hitam! So exciting lah kan!?

Invitees will be the malaysian friends and the singapore friends. Dan juga yang sewaktu dengannya. Hehe. I was thinking if I wana have the ketupats and the rendangs. Do I or do I not? Mood so play a part. Shall see the mood on saturday.

Wonder how the homey's are getting along with the raya preparations. Wonder what colors will be seen more of this year. Wonder what food and pastries are being sorted out at home. Wonder how much the parents are giving out this year. OMG! Which reminds me, after 15 years, this will be the 1st year I do not help daddy dearest putting the money in the envelope thing! Gosh! But then again, that's not the only thing that is a first this year. Lets see

After 8 years, this is the 1st time I managed to puasa full. Insyaallah..Since there is like 2 days left to fast and Alhamdulillah if I do get full..!
After 20 years, this is the 1st time I am celebrating raya away from family, home, loved ones.
After 20 years, this is the 1st time I am experiencing independency.
After 13 years, assuming girls should learn how to cook by the age of 7, I can finally cook!
After 7 years, I finally can safely say, I don't give a damn about relationships. Maturity I call it. Hah!

Teraweh today feels so different. Sad and happy. Happy because it is nearing the end. Yet sad as I do not really want it to end. So contradicting.. Ooh Ooh and I got free bananas from a malaysian friend who did research on it beforehand and no longer needs it now! It was kelong2 at Al-Khalil mosque today! And yes people the bananas are safe to eat..

Anyhoos, 2 more weeks!

That's what I ate today. Finally Mi Goreng is done with. Hoo yaH!

Selamat Hari Raya Peeps!

just bored

2007-10-06T23:12:00.000-07:00

So bored. I swear I have so many things to do but I so do not wana do any. With only 3 weeks left b4 SWOT week, wait wait let me repeat that. 3 FriGginG WEEKS!! wee!! Feels like aileons ago. I am so excited as I will be back home soon but I am afraid of the exams. New atmosphere, new system. Pray for me people. Still got a few days of BULAN RAMADHAN lah kan, so pray while you still can. FOR ME!!

No mood for raya, only because I do not feel the atmosphere. Damn I miss kueh tart and ondeh2 and epok2 and air katira. Duno how to make it also. Like so many ingredients lah have to buy plus I do not have essential stuffs like blender and all. grr..!! SO far I have decided to try out tahu goreng and bubur pulut hitam. And maybe just maybe do kek pisang. We shall see how lah eh. So many assignments and homeworks. Where got time lah kan!? I know though I am gona miss the holy month. It makes me feel solace. Argh.. so fast the good times pass.

That's what I cooked and ate today. Mi Goreng. Should have added more spice. Blueargh.

I need my 2 Ds this semester. Ya allah only you can help me. Ameen..

New craze and addiction for me this time. FACEBOOK!! A cross section of friendster cum myspace. Was not interested to do it as wana take care of friendster already so leceh but decided to do it after being pestered by friends. And boy do I not regret. Trust me people, you ain't at a losing end if you get this one.

Weather here is one I would call moody. It is spring this time and it is suppose to be just warm with cool wind. Something not like singapore weather. Cooler. However, it is so unpredictable. One day you have to wear winter clothing and one day you are wearing summer clothing. It came to a point when I felt stupid at times wearing the wrong clothing out. People stare and you just have to show this hey-its-my-problem-what-i-wear kinda attitude. Haix....

Like finally I can say I did spring cleaning. Had my house inspection yesterday and we passed! Eh seriously, they inspect every little detail okay and charge you crazy for no good reason. Lucky we pass, we were off the hook! While Other villagers complained of how unfair the system was, we were just shaking legs. Hoo Yah!

Labels: Watching this gay movie, and advertisements here at midnight is soft porn. Like uber disgusting lah. Seriously.

Swear I am growing fat now! Shyt!

Tagg-ed by Bucci

2007-10-02T15:56:00.000-07:00

Bucci tagged me

LAYER 1 : On the outside
Name : Abdul Rahman, Nurhidayah
Birthdate : August 3rd '87
Current Status : single but not available
Eye colour : Black and white and a tinge of brown
Hair colour : black, with highlights of brown & strands of white ( Swear its hereditary)

LAYER 2 : On the inside
Heritage : Maternal Grandma chinese, grandpa malay, makes my mum chinese muslim.
Paternal grandma malay and grandpa indian, makes my dad indian muslim.
So I think I am chindian muslim lah can!?
Fears : HIM
Weaknesses : follows head not heart , lazy , affected , heck-care attitude
My perfect pizza : My own one! With whatever toppings I wan. Yum2!

LAYER 3 : Yesterday, today, tomorrow
First thought of waking up : What is the formula for energy? ( cause I had a frigging quiz at 8am today! Which I could have gotten distinction if only I had another 5 minutes!! DARNATION!)
Bedtime : 1am-3am
Most missed memories : Secondary school days & childhood. One day people will realise when they are old, that the only time that mattered was when they were kids.

LAYER 4 : Pick
Pepsi or Coke : Coke though I don't fathom the diff
Mcdonalds or Burger King : Can I choose KFC?
Single or group dates : Depends who is goin on the group date wif me
Adidas or Nike : No cares what so ever. Just a name leh...Didy lah can!?
Tea or Nestea : errrrr!
Vanilla or chocolate : CHOCOLATE lah
Cappucino or coffee : capp lah!! so obvy!

LAYER 5 : Do you?
Smoke : Nay!!
Curse : To You maybe I should
Take a shower : No I don't. Smell me..*roll eyes*
Have a crush : Define crush...
Go to school : Just started today. boohoo
Believe in yourself : Obvy lah! Are there anymore stupid questions? Seriously...

LAYER 6 : Past
Drink alcohol : nope
Gone to the mall : been ages. though it was actually just last friday. haha
Been onstage : All the time in sec school. I was said to be indispensable lah okay! Miss it already :(
Dyed your hair : once yea

LAYER 7 : Have you ever?
Played a stripping game : played it but din strip. Call me party pooper or whatever but you try it with you being the only girl in that big frigging group.
Change who you were to fit in : isnt't that always happening?

LAYER 8 : Are you hoping...
To get married : uhuh uhuh!

LAYER 9 : In a guy ...
Best eye colour : Don't matter as long as I can melt when I stare into it
Best hair colour : Color is not the issue, more the style. Can't have a guy botak and yet shy lah kan? He needs the hair to cover his face pe.. hur hur.. k never you mind if you ain't getting it.
Long hair or short hair : short But then again.. Some guys can carry long hair. uhm..Depend lah..

LAYER 10 : What were you doing ...
A minute ago : Changing TV channel
An hour ago : Reading the Quran
A month ago : september? Alot of things. Had midbreak, had reports, quizzes, teraweh. Be specific lah.
A year ago : In singapore. Living the life as a senior in TP.

LAYER 11 : Finish the sentences ...
I love : danish, familys, cuxs, myself, and HIM
I hate : hate is such as a strong word. Next!
I hide : from him.. hur hur.
I miss : Danish, home, the night life and the home cooked food and did I mention DANISH?
I need : love, my cliques, a brain to put in more info!!

LAYER 12 : Tag 5 ...
-SM
-Mai
-Sassy
-Sam
-Feffe

Done.

4 weeks left to SWOT week
1 week left to hari raya
1 day left to malam lailatul qadar
1 week left to quiz 2 for signal and system

Mid Break

2007-10-01T20:32:00.000-07:00

It's over by tonight!

School starts tomorrow and what a day to start it with. QUIZ! Argh.. Timing is oh so perfect..

Anyhoos.. let the pictures give you a walk down didy's lane...

Lantern F3st!

Di alam Kayangan..

We were walking along this path at the side of the highway! Shiok AH!

The biggest lantern ever lah can!

http://s6.photobucket.com/albums/y242/dolminah/adelaide/lantern%20f3st/?action=view&current=Fireworks.flv

Just some amazing fireworks done in Adelaide's elder park.

And then to Tea Tree Plaza

Just wasting time trying yet not buying.. hur hur

And then we were home on the BUS on the O-Bahn trail.. It is like a bus driving on a train's track. Uber speedy gonzalez man!

Last but not least! What have My Kitchen been smelling...??

Brownie, tom yum soup, prata, kiwi, and hot dogs!

Me and the chief cook; betty aka my housemate

That's the end product of my chinese dumpling

Yesterday's recipe; black pepper chicken!

There is more! But I forgot to take the pictures:( I have done bubur honey dew, spaghetti, pizza.. Dan yang sewaktu dengannya. I love cooking!! Did didy, a singapore girl, just say that!? hur hur..

Okie laah tu .. Gota study. Its Tomorrow!!2 weeks to raya!? really? Meaning few more weeks to home sweet home.. Pack me up now!!

A tinge of nostalgia.

2007-09-16T21:16:00.000-07:00

The company of 3 back again for today. It wasn't so much of minding how small it was but how it felt so lonely. Discussing what we wanted done when Raya came, seem so melancholy-ing. If there is such a word. It was like I was there and I was engaging myself in the conversation. Yet, I knew my mind was elsewhere. I tried so hard not to think of what was happening back 'there'. I would catch myself reminiscining time and again. I wish I can say I don't understand why I do that thinking-of-the-days-when-I-am-there commonly these days, cause I do get it! I get that at this Very moment, so many of the wonderful things I want to happen, happens. Yet you are so far away. It doesn't help also that you are all alone in a foreign land which do not do Big celebrations for this kind of festivity. And even if they do, which I doubt, it is never the same. Call me a stereotype but home is always the best place to celebrate the traditional things in life.
Come to think of it, I do get tired of always complaining about how I miss it back there. I do get tired of having to wonder what is going on at this time back at home. And I do get tired of wondering what pastries my family is gona get this year. hehe. I have to admit, I never bothered before but it now seems so much more substantial. The little things like how my earrings are still hanging on my tree-sort of handle is being dusted off everyday and how my house key is kept untouched and still lying on the desktop the way I left it before I left affects me affectionately. It is not that the people I have made friends with here do not help me in coping with this desire to go home. And it is not that they are not appreciated as much as the friends I have back at home. It is just so incomparable, disparate, mismatched! That's the word. It feels like here, we are friends only to live by each day. We need one another just because. I do not see myself telling any friends here what I really feel. I do not see myself sharing my thoughts, my depression, my enthusiasm, my love, my anger with anyone here. I feel stoned and lifeless. I see myself wanting to just crawl to my room and seat infront of the only thing which keeps me going as I am able to see my friends and my loved ones; the lappy. When I do get tired of straining the already 4 pair of eyes, I just feel the need to study. I have my days when I just needed to be alone. Shutting the door and wanting everyone out. And it is not even PMS yet. tsk tsk. Obviously, I mentioned, it's not always bad. Life is never just a bed of roses. But it is sure different.
Guess that is what they call experience. Oh I am experiencing it alright.

On a lighter scale, I know I can do this. I know I just want to finish this whole ordeal and get on with my life. If others can, I am no different. It is just a phase I have to go through to achieve what I want in the end.

Label: Danish dreamt of me today. I heart him lah can!?

Camat puasa ke 5 peeps..

1st Ramadhan

2007-09-13T15:37:00.000-07:00

Bismillah hil rahman Nir rahim.
Nawaitu sauma radin syahri ramadhana qulihi hazihis sanati lilahitaala

Woke up to a lazy start. Was suppose to be up at 430am but failed to do so. It is the 1st day of ramadhan. A month of fasting. A month to 'taubat' and ask for forgiveness. I have every reason to rejoice this month, what with me being away from home and the loved ones. I feel the loneliness & the emptiness this year more than the other 19 years of Ramadhan I experienced. It is in this month where I get to spend the early breakfast and dinner together with the people that mattered. It is in this month that I spend my time everyday, be it whole day or just for the teraweh or qiyamullai, on holy land across the small lion city. It is in this month that the ice queen melts and the heart opens only for that one true everlasting love. Masyaallah.

One thing I am unable to wait for is the unity of all muslims 'bertakbir' together.

I would like to use this opportunity to extend all my 10 fingers, both my hands and ask for forgiveness to all my friends be it the new and the old. Also Halalkan makan minum. Not forgetting my family, ibu and ayah. And the 2 siblings. Together with the relatives and much loved cousins.

Wish I was home, just for this month.

Amin.

let the pictures walk...

2007-09-03T19:08:00.000-07:00

We are gona walk you through Glenelg..

Zahira and yours truly

Jumping jumping!

Looking for a small island Far far away... Close to the heart..

Just me...

She sells Seashells on the seashore

The big and the small

Ku merenung jauh

I will be home..

Notice how everything seems so blue. Bliss...

Progress report

2007-08-31T02:10:00.000-07:00

WeEeeEE!!!!!

I have done all the things I need to do. I am left with only an assignment and programming. How amazing is thaT!? I am so happy. It feels great when you are ahead of schedule. You feel that you can atleast afford to have relax time. I love time management.

On the other hand, I think I am facing post home-sick depression. I never did feel anything before. Not in the 1st few weeks. But now that the month of Ramadhan is approaching, I feel that I wana be more at home. I miss so many things which were routines for me then. Woken up by daddy dearest, to drink water b4 the whole day of fast. Getting ready and planning what to cook for break fast. And then eating altogether. And at times, we will go out at 4am just to sahur. We being the family or friends. And then there will be once or twice in that month where the whole family and relatives break fast together at the grandparents house. Or with friends. ARGH!! I want all that.. I also wana go to the mosque with the loved ones to pray the terawih. To hear the azan and to hear the chants the habibs or imam will be singing to. I wana cry due to feeling so much love for Him on holy grounds; at a holy place. Damn! Being so far makes you appreciate so many things back home. I am keeping myself strong. I know I can do it. I know I can stand this for abit more. But how much more? I can only wonder. God, you are my only saviour.

2 weeks to september holidays. Make it snappy. Can't wait!

PS: Bye bye Winter. Good Day Spring. Hello new roomie.

Checked!

2007-08-24T16:32:00.000-07:00

Finally, the hectic week is over. With both quizzes for S&S and EES done, I can finally have time for myself to start revising all over again with more understanding and to complete other given assignments. All I can say is, luckily they only take 1 out of the 2 quiz paper for S&S. As for the EES no comments.

I have like

one report to do
2 online tests to finish
one homework to be done
one programming code to do
Not forgetting revision.

Where got time!?

Last I checked, I am 46kg. I lost 4 freaking kilos already in 2 months! WOAH... meaning in 2 months more I will be 42kg? Nah... ahah..

I was called a Malaysian. Do I look like one? I mean no offence to them. Plus there really ain't much difference between singaporeans and malaysians. Or indonesians for that matter. But do I really look like one? Mmm....Isit cause I am malay so they categorise me as one? Or isit cause I spend my time with the Malaysians? I don't know why but I felt taken aback when I was thought of as a Malaysian. Again NO offence. I did not realise I am very patriotic. Tsk tsk.

There are short white people here. But damn! I thought people here walk fast only because they have long strides. Thus 2 of my steps is 1 of theirs. But I was proved wrong. I was sort of racing with this girl of the same height. And after 1 minute, she was already 6 feet infront of me. So what makes them walk fast and for long distances?

I like 2 guys already! A guy named Song and a guy named Eric. Oh Oh. Song(japan born but OZ PR) is a group mate of mine for PED 3 an Eric(sweden) is a friend's friend. haha. No lah.. Just puppy crushes..

It is already the end of winter! WEEEE... like finally I can start to wear just tshirt and jeans to school with no jackets. It is starting to get warmer here. And you can finally feel the sun. Weee...!

Had persistent calls from an Ang Moh guy name ethan. A promoter for some gym near campus. I have no idea how he got my number nor how he knows my name. He even knows where my school is. Lucky he do not know where I live. Or do he? Do I have a stalker already? Not again....Be afraid.. Be very afraid...

I decided! I wana go home on the 25th NOVEMBER!! In time for Hari raya Haji. Since I am already gona miss Hari Raya Puasa. In that case, I got to really study for the exams. Don't wana take supp.. Choy!!

And final para is for my dear brother Idus! Or Ingus. However you feel like calling him. Miss YOU!! When I get back, You better be there to pick me up along with my family. haha macam paham ye.. Amaciam fair? Mau pe...?

B4 there was 3.

2007-08-16T21:10:00.000-07:00

The last few days spent together with the whole group who were once strangers then close friends

At glenelg

The cakes we get to eat from Mc Cafe In glenelg.. YUMMY!

B4 and after we left for Marion. Together In the Village's toilet & lift...

J & I and the things I got for the people back home..

We went to Haigh's factory. 1 out of 2 Australian Owned chocalate making factory! SUPERB!!

BBQ at the Village for the Village residence

The whole big family.. And the students of Uni of Adelaide

Where the Heck Is J??

And then there were 3....

Then 2?

Soon, it will be just me.. Lonely Plain Didy.. Will I always be alone?

They have both left. I will leave soon too. In 4 months..! Counting down 2 that day..

PS: Happy Birthday to my brother. Tawfiq..:)

Happy Birthday Singapore

2007-08-09T07:39:00.000-07:00

6 days after my Big day is Home Town's Independence day! The Singaporeans at Uni Of Adelaide and I had our own celebration in the Eclipse room at Union House. Began at 5-8pm. It was alright. Made new friends and we had a blast recollecting the times we had back in Secondary school days and singing our Singapore tunes like Chan Mali Chan, Di Tanjong Katong and the old National Day songs. I wasn't excited at first to go but luckily my friends and I went home with memories to linger us on about. It was a great experience celebrating away from home. So near yet so far. A qoute which I seem to understand deeper on.

Like finally... some real food! I had beef rendang, mi goreng, rice, sayur lodeh, chicken.

And for drinks we had pokka green tea with peach!

Zahirah and me

New friend found; steven AND the drinks and the little gift I got for answering a question on Singapore!

The most kecoh Group there...

Was hoping they would show a live telecast for all of us in that room via internet but they didn't! Gosh if I was the organiser, that is what I would take care of first. That's important on the agenda man! What's more, it is the 1st time, it is being done in Marina ON WATER! haix.. Wasted! Oh well, its over already.. Bluek..Nevertheless,

Happy 42nd Birthday Singapore..!

Adelaide 03 08 '87

2007-08-04T22:06:00.000-07:00

What I thought would be a draggy 1st birthday celebration in adelaide has turned out better than I envisioned. My close peers have secretly bought me presents each. I received a chocolate cake from aiman, chocolates from darrel lea from kel, harry potter owl from hana and prata for breakfast from j! Though it is not the more usual what I want and I get things or the more classy dining I would usually get back at home, it is the thought that counts! And I seriously appreciate what they have done big time!
I imagined getting only birthday wishes but I was proved wrong. I must admit though I still do miss celebrating my BIg Day back at home, but I guess I would end of by saying I am satisfied with today.

Thanks to all those who wished me. Be it from OZ or from back at home. By order from the 1st person who wished me. Hady, Ima my sis, Ibu, Ayah, Isa, Hana, Aiman, Q, Abg Mat, Yuse, J, Toys, Jason Sim, kak huda, Kak Ra, Betty, Kel, Nisa, Naz, Maizurah my cousin, Idus, Serena, Asri, Kak Sya & Salihin. If I forgot anyone I am soo Sorry. I cannot remember all ah.. eheh.. Thanks agaiN!

On the bulletin board of The Village

Breakfast by J

Birthday dinner out with friends.. Kebabz...

Cut the cake with the people who cared..

the presents I got.. Harry Potter owl and Chocolates

Happy 20th Birthday Didy..

http://s6.photobucket.com/albums/y242/dolminah/adelaide/?action=view&current=MOV00887.flv

(click above)

The birthday song! Btw NO its not really a wish.. just for fun.. keke

Get me OUTA here Please.....

Got more wishes today.. Hoo.. thanks to those who forgot.. tsk tsk

toodles

BIG DAY

2007-07-31T20:43:00.000-07:00

I think I am getting used to the system here. I am kinda starting to like schooling here. Ofcourse the norms, I do dislike certain subjects like PED 3 and Signals and Systems. But I guess after much practise and hardwork, I will be able to get through. I must remember my priority. That is to get my honors too.

So in the end, the parents decided not to come down here in December. Instead, just pass me the money which they will be using if they came over. Hoo yah! Do I hear shopping beckoning me? tsk tsk. Nah, I decided then that I wana go home.. But I need to get the best flight prices. Please let me have the luck to get a cheap ticket. Intend to fly home by 2nd december. I wana see my baby Danish! And then meet all my relatives and cuxxies on Raya Haji! I cannot wait.. On top of that, ofcourse dapat duit lah kan.. muahaha

One of my cousins will be joining me here in Uni of Adelaide to do his architecture degree. Yay, one family close by. Hoo yah!

It is nearing the month of august. Meaning nearing MY BIG DAY! Did I ever tell any of you that I was born in the wee hours of the morning? If I am not wrong, it would be at about 2am. It would be fun if I got wished at exactly that same time. Hehe.. I do not know how this year's Birthday would be like. Firstly, I am already not in my hometown, surrounded by all the love ones and my close mates. I will surely miss having all the parties they would make for me. Or even getting the presents from them. What's more, my birthday happens on a friday! I can actually imagine what will be planned for me if I was back at home. Time table will be packed with activities. From family, then to the close friends, then to the cousins. ARGH! I am gona have to give it a miss this year.. How sucky! I am already in tears thinking of the past celebrations I had. This year is gona be one boring Birthday....

Haix...

Just the close cuxins.. I finally managed to get the pictures on the day I was about to leave on 070707. Can still remember that day! The whole area was filled with my family from both sides! And I got 14 families from my dad's side and 8 families from my mum's side!! Argh! ONE BIG GROUP

At the airport. Love you people to bits..

More photos UPDATES!!

2007-07-24T21:22:00.000-07:00

The day before I left. Kisses..

Mom and dad infront of The Village. They look as though they are fighting. So far apart. Muahaha

The dinner I ate for the first few days in Adelaide. Its TRUE!

Just cam whoring In the toilet. Yeah.. No worries..

Masyaallah Beautiful sunset in the west.

Daddy Last Goodbye's

A sneak peak into THE room.. I have got a tv and a dvd to go with it. Hoo yaH!

Time for a hot coffee after a COLD day.. and then... In the Bus.

J and I. 1st Time at a restaurant Nando's. Yucky stuff.. Wonder when we'll get to try Mekong Thai..mm..

Ad for Dove Shampoo. Muahaha.. Craps..

The goofballs of adelaide university.

Outside the metro train and then Inside and then Below is when we reached MARION to SHOP!So just a little explanation, Marion is located in the suburbs whereas, I lived in the city of Adelaide.

One of our dinners together and then I cleaned up. Maid 4 the day.

One of the food I cooked and prepared. Just a simple delicacy of Mee Maggi Goreng.

The day we all sent Hana's mummy home. Awh sweet kan kiter..

The night we had our Harry Potter night out!

At a bus stop on the way to Harbor Town to ShoP! What else right..?

Missing home already.

Semester starts 23rd JULY. Wish me luck!

Me in Adelaide

2007-07-18T23:17:00.000-07:00

Finally, like after nearly 2 weeks in OZ, I managed to get mY internet! Hoo yah. It was prolonged due to the fact that my campus mates and house mates wanted to test out the different possibilities of wireless broadband. If all of us could share, and divide the total amount to 5, then we save alot rather then each pay 39 AUS dollars per month. In the end, we decided doing the latter was the best bet. It all still adds up to the same thing. Plus, if we each decided to shift house to a better area, it is less of a hassle. In the end, here I got my connection. Like finally! Unfortunately, we still have a qouta of 10GB. Like wad d hell kan? In SG, its unlimited. Bluek..

So updates on me life.. Firstly, thank you to all of you who sent me off at the airport. It was a tarching sight. I was really surprised to see some unexpected people there too actually but no matter. Thank You again. To those who wished me well b4 I left, thanks too. And for those who have mailed me asking about me. Alhamdulillah. I feel great and blessed to have friends like you.

I miss alot of things back in singapore. Top on the list is my baby danish. No surprise there. Then comes my family and cousins. I miss hanging out with you guys lah...Till wee hours of the morning. Here, by 5, 5.30pm, everything is dark. No life at all! And that is only 4pm there you know.. Then my close friends and finally the food there...! It is so hard to actually buy food here. Like back at home, if you crave for something, you will know where to get it and just buy some. But here, you crave for it but to get the halal ones is a far distance away. It is that difficult. So frustrating..Therefore, every dinner, is home cooked food. I have eaten dishes like, ayam sambal, sardine, papadam, telur cheese, hot dogs, sayur cooked in soup, curry with prawns, spaghetti. Think that's all of it. So far okay lah.

Managed to catch Harry Potter from here last tuesday. Have to admit, its not as exciting as the previous ones. Am I growing out of it already? Nah.. don't think so since alot of you guys agreed with me too. What happened eh? Isit cause Daniel Radcliffe is now not as cute anymore? muahaha. But Emma Watson is good looking man..Well I rate it 5/10. Okay lah give face, 6.

My face is dry like hell. I have like this 2 dark nearly-fang-look-a-like on me face. ARGH disgusting. It is super cold here and sometimes it drizzles. The lowest it has gotten is maybe 3 degrees? Or maybe even lower. On top of that, I have caught a flu. And the medicines are not helping! Think it is due to the drastic change of temperature. Not used to it thus.....

Friends made are a selected few so far. And all Malaysians. So far everythings okay. Nothing much to comment about the friends.. hehe..

Nights here are long and days super short. Time seems to move so slowly especially at night. Should be cause its winter? I cannot wait to end my time here. I know once I graduate, I might actually miss this place. Well, life is like that ain't it. Always never happy with what you have. But I promise I will make the best of my time here. Pray for me people for both studies and health. And do take care of my family for me. Insyaallah, I will see all of you again.. AMIN.

Woo Mum just called.. Yee hah!!

To danish....

2007-07-07T17:43:00.000-07:00

Going is Easy

Leaving Behind Is Difficult.

And to think the only living thing making me hurt a million times,

spill the droplets I have never spilled...

A toddler,

who is not even mine.

Only 20 yet I experienced mother hood.

Held him in my arms since I can only remember.

I guess it is true.

he sensed it too.

He knew I was never gona take him back for a long time..

He never wanted to let go.

Neither did I.. But can I?

Yaya was the 1st name he ever said..

Thrill and much love followed next

He cried, begging me not to let go

But My dear, I had no choice.

If only you could understand the whole situation

Its just been hours since you left yet my heart is still in agony

Oh Please god..

Keep me strong,

Keep Us Alive!

Keep our Love going on...

I will come back baby..

One day..

With open arms reaching out to you.

I'm only hoping you do the same too.

I never was able to admit it but maybe what a friend of mine said is true. You cannot leave him only because you are afraid he will never remember you like he used to.

Only HE would determine it all..

Masyaallah..